I Can’t Promise You That I Will Never Leave, But I Can Promise You This

‘Can you promise me something? Can you promise me that you’ll never leave me?’

I’ve heard that one before. So many times. But every single time, I’ve never been able to make that promise. A promise holds so many things – trust, assurance, and quality of potential existence. But above all, a promise is knowing that no matter what happens – no matter what – at the end of the day, they would always still be here.

When you told me that you would never in a million years leave me, I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell you I would never leave you too. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to make you that promise then, because it scares me. The promise holds so much more than just spoken words, because often times words don’t mean much once spoken.

Actions however, they speak a lot more than words ever could. Even the thought of us never being together, that terrifies me enough to imagine never having you by my side.

But let me tell you something; here is what I will promise you. I will promise you more than the fact that I would never leave you.

Instead, I will promise you more than that.

I promise you, that no matter how difficult life gets, I will always be here. Through the thick or thin, the good or the ugly, I will be here to weather through bad days with you, and to share the joy on your best days. You will always be the first person that comes to mind, and the only person I want to come home to at the end of the day.

If there’s anything I can promise you, I promise you that I will always give you my best and that you have all of me – all 100 per cent of me. But this is not without fair warning – you will see me at my happiest over things I’m passionate about, my craziest at newfound fascination over the smallest things, my crankiest when I’m sleep deprived, my saddest when my brain goes on overdrive, and my angriest about things that frustrates me to no end. But above that, you will see the way I look at you with love. The look that I reserve for you, and only you.

You always remind me that love is a choice, and not a feeling, but people always mistake love for a feeling, and that is why love dies. I could never wrap my head around it; how could you just decide one day that you no longer have room in your heart for that one person that used to mean the world to you? I promise you this – that I will always choose you (yes, even on your rough days when you are being an absolutely brat (either due to the lack of caffeine or just because) no matter what. If I choose you, I will only ever have eyes for you, and you alone. There will be no grey area with me, and you will never have to tiptoe around me. 

I promise to always work at this with you. Always.