The ‘Gossip Girl’ Character You Are, According To Your Zodiac Sign

First of all, I hated the romance between Blair and Dan. It just made no sense and just like my first time, I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Second of all, Dan and Serena WERE NOT COMPATIBLE (there I said it!). Dan should have ended up with Vanessa. Serena should have ended up with Nate. And I should have ended up with Chuck. I mean…I’m happy it worked out for Blair and Chuck. Third of all, if you watch this show from the beginning knowing that Dan is Gossip Girl, it LITERALLY makes zero sense because you catch him being surprised by something Gossip Girl releases, including times when he’s alone—like who are you putting on a show for??? YOU WROTE IT!! Or was it a Jekyll and Hyde type of situation and Dan had a split personality so Patricia was actually writing all of those gossip tips???

Also, someone please explain to me why Blair’s fiancé Louis lived in New York with her when he was the PRINCE OF MOTHER FUCKING MONACO??? And why did Louis, his mother, and sister all speak English with thick French accents with each other even when no one was around instead of French??? And what ever happened to Lily and Rufus’ love child??? And how was Blair over her child dying so fast? And did it bother anyone else that Dan kept it in the family by dating his step sister and then his step cousin?? Ugh. I just can’t.

Lastly, the more I watched the show, the more I literally began to hate every character. You don’t really realize how annoying everyone is until you binge-watch a show in four days. Anyway, I’m done venting for now. Let’s move on to some zodiac signs!

Pisces: Rufus Humphrey

Rufus is creative, compassionate, loving, loyal, anti social, positive, and very sensitive. He’s a romantic, a dreamer, and an adventurer. Just like his sign, he can be indecisive and unpredictable in his decisions, which causes him to change his mind quite often. He isn’t the best at handling his emotions and struggles to communicate them, leading him to run away and hide pretty often when the going gets tough in his relationship with Lily.

Pisces being a mutable changeable sign is able to disregard an entire relationship pretty quickly if they aren’t satisfied. Which explain why eventually he stopped chasing Lily and finally let her go once he felt like he no longer connected with Lily on an emotional level—as if he didn’t spend 20 years chasing her because he thought she was The One?!?! They should have just stayed together but I guess one thing Lily loves more than love, is money and power. (I found their relationship confusing. They were so passionate when they were apart yet once they got together; it was the most stale, boring storyline ever).

Pisces are most compatible with Scorpio, Taurus, and Cancer.

Libra: Lily Van Der Woodsen

Lily has had more marriages than I’ve had boyfriends. She is a Manhattan socialite and like a true Libra, she’s materialistic, social, and loves the extravagant lifestyle. Lily will stop at nothing to protect her perfect public image, and the reputations of her children since they’re a reflection of her.

Lily can never be alone, which is why we see her constantly jumping from one man to another, just like her daughter.

Libras are most compatible with Gemini, Sagittarius, and Leo.

Libra: Serena van der Woodsen

Serena is a Libra, which is one of the least compatible signs with a Virgo (aka Dan), but one of the most compatible signs with a Gemini (aka Nate), which is why I always believed she was meant to be with Nate. But what do I know!! I only spend hours a day reading my horoscope, my ex’s horoscope, his new girlfriend’s horoscope, my friends’ horoscopes, my boss’ horoscope… I know, it’s like when did I even find the time to write this blog because I’m so busy reading horoscopes!!!?! You’re welcome.

As a Libra, Serena is flirty, social, easy going, charming, and the life of the party. She is the It Girl everyone wants to be, or at least that’s the image she portrays. Just like a true Libra, she constantly puts on a facade for every man she falls in love with in order to fit his image of an ideal companion. She often finds it hard to say no, which is what gets her into trouble pretty often with her loved ones, making them feel as if they’re not a priority due to her selfish and unreliable nature. Serena’s entire self-worth revolves around having a lover (just like her mother), since she’s a romantic at heart. At times it seems that Serena loves the idea of love more than she loves her actual partners. Without a lover to keep her stable, her life tends to fall apart.

Being a Libra, Serena is a free spirit, loves attention, loves to travel, loves fashion, and has a wild side. She can also be selfish, self indulgent, superficial, and vain. She doesn’t really know what she wants in life, which is why some people may view her as indecisive and lazy, although never too lazy for a good time. Serena is also detached and unemotional at times. She can be insensitive, which is why she would struggle to meet a Virgo’s emotional needs.

Although this sign is known to avoid confrontation, a Libra can still be a villain. When Serena loses her cool, she tends to take it too far by creating unnecessary conflicts, separating people, and playing games with a tit-for-tat destructive style. She can sometimes be a little hardheaded, though fortunately due to her easy-going, forgiving nature she’s able to let things go and avoid further conflict.

Libras are most compatible with Gemini, Sagittarius, and Leo.

Virgo: Dan Humphrey

Dan is living proof that if you stalk someone for long enough, your obsession will eventually run out of options and give in, date you, and one day even marry you. Clearly, Dan and Hailey Baldwin read the same book.

Dan values family and friends and has their best interest at heart, which can unfortunately mean that he sometimes comes off as critical or judgmental. Consistent with his Virgo sign, Dan is intelligent, logical, ambitious, goal oriented, calculated, and hardworking. He’s able to strategically plan his future to a T, which sets him apart from the rest of the group. As a true Virgo, Dan is critical of others but most critical of himself, which is why he struggles in some romantic relationships. When he’s with Serena, for example, he constantly feels like he isn’t good enough, causing him to subconsciously have a chip on his shoulder and put her down by pointing out her flaws. (Sometimes I wondered if Dan secretly wanted to be Serena instead of date her so he could live the Manhattan lifestyle he loved to pretend to hate. Sigh. I hate everyone on this show.)

Like a true Virgo, Dan has a tendency to try and fix those around him (out of love), he yearns for perfection and cleanliness. Dan is the opposite from the life of the party and tends to prefer to stay out of the spotlight. He likes order and routine and can’t handle people who are unpredictable or highly emotional.

Virgos are not the jealous types, and can forgive cheating easily but not dishonesty, which explains why he was able to get over Serena cheating on him yet once she confessed that was actually a lie, he broke up with her, unable to deal with all the lies and secrets she kept from him.

Virgos are most compatible with Scorpio, Cancer, and Capricorn.

Scorpio: Georgina Sparks

This evil queen gives us Scorpio gals a bad rep, but my money is that she’s an October baby since everyone knows October female Scorpios are a little more on the dark/evil side than the rest of the people born under that zodiac sign.

Georgina is one of my favorite characters because she’s constantly scheming and manipulating everyone to get her way while staying witty and sarcastic. She’s basically the funniest character on the show and way cooler than the rest of her upper east side frienemies. I think she secretly does want to be loved and cares for her friends, but she tries to gain them with threats, power, and fear, just like a true October female Scorpio. Unfortunately, that never works, not even for Georgina.

One of my favorite plotlines involving Georgina is when she briefly falls for Dan in college because she pretends to be all casual about it but ends up getting attached and becomes stalkerish, manipulative, and obsessive over him. Now that’s a Scorpio love! My second favorite moment involving Georgina is towards the end of the show, when she helps Dan find his potential with his book! It’s a great example of what great partners Virgos and Scorpios can make, since both signs are very driven. Scorpios are hardworking, goal-oriented, and very good at motivating others to reach their potential.

Scorpios are most compatible with Cancer, Taurus, Pisces, and Virgo

Scorpio: Chuck Bass

Chuck is the bad boy every girl wishes she could change. His best talents include, scheming with Blair, buying his way out of everything, and being so emotionally unavailable that it turns me on (which is something I’m working on with my therapist every Thursday).

Scorpio is the sexiest zodiac sign—it is sex itself, and Chuck is no different. He walks, talks, and breathes sex. Chuck is intense, loyal, secretive, possessive, bold, and self-involved. He keeps to himself and rarely shows emotion yet secretly feels a lot. Like a true Scorpio, he never gives up when he wants something (two examples would be his business and Blair) and although he comes off as calm, cool, and collected, his crazy unpredictable side shines through occasionally.

Chuck is jealous, manipulative, sensual, intuitive, and vindictive. He knows how to sting those who hurt him, including those he loves the most – Whether it’s with words or with actions, hell has no fury like a Scorpio scorned. But those who love Chuck, like Blair, understand him and know that all that anger and hurtful words stem from pain, and that his behavior is just a cry for help—again, all too Scorpio-like.

There were times when Chuck demonstrated his more awesome Scorpio qualities, too. For instance, the deep love he has for Blair. There is no other sign as emotionally intense and emotionally intelligent as a Scorpio. Chuck’s friends could always count on him to be there to save them, even if they turned their backs on him. He’s a true friend. He’s also hardworking, driven, successful, smart, passionate, ambitious, focused, honest, resourceful, romantic, and sexual. Just like my dad. Just kidding, just kidding. But my dad and I are both Scorpios so I know for a fact that Chuck is great in bed. Again, I’m sorry for the dark sense of humor. Another thing I’m addressing in therapy regularly.

Scorpios are most compatible with Cancer, Virgo, Pisces, and Taurus.

Cancer with Taurus rising: Blair Waldorf

It may seem like Serena is the It Girl, but no one runs New York like Blair does. She is the social queen of every club and she makes it known when she enters a room. Cancer is one of the most nurturing signs of the zodiac, and Blair is loyal to her core. She has a big heart, and is always there for her friends when they’re in need, regardless of how much they’ve hurt her.

Although she presents a tough exterior, Blair is no different from Chuck in that she is highly sensitive on the inside. Blair is a great planner and organizer. She’s also hardworking and loves to make something that she can call her own. She has a need to know everything and everyone’s business. She also needs constant attention and displays the manipulative emotional nature of a Cancer scorned when things don’t go her way.

Like a true Cancer, she is protective, which at times can come off as possessive, petty, and childish. She’s also no stranger to hitting below the belt to hurt someone, though she never takes it as far as a Scorpio (aka Chuck) would.

Her Taurus rising shows her calculative side, constant need for control and order, and sexual/sensual side (aka her and Chuck’s wild sex life aka my mum is a Taurus and my dad is a Scorpio so you know what that means!?!? More years of therapy for me for even bringing that up.), Blair has love for the finer and prettier things in life and like a true Cancer with a Taurus rising she loves to love and always follows her heart.

(Dorotha was probably a Taurus. Let me know in the comments below if you want me to write a more detailed description about this zodiac sign)

Cancers are most compatible with Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo, and Cancer.

Gemini: Nate Archibald

Nate is so laid back, you might forget he was even on the show if he weren’t so damn beautiful. Nate is social, gentle, charming, indecisive, and loyal. He cares for his friends and family, and is always ready for some fun. On the other hand, he’s also serious, opinionated, restless, and thoughtful like a true Gemini.

Gemini’s love to be free and are not the jealous type, which explains why he gets over his best friend sleeping with his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend a little too fast, but I guess to his defense they’ve only been going out since they were kids. Then again, he also slept with his girlfriend’s best friend (aka Serena). Then again, who hasn’t??!! (Chuck?) Ahhhhh, high school! Am I right?? So relatable.

Like a Gemini, Nate isn’t really all there when it comes to his feelings. It’s pretty rare to see much emotion in him, but when he cries from those beautiful blue eyes, we’re there for it. Sometimes we cry too because it’s not fair he got blessed with such beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows while the rest of us girls had to work for it, but whatever I’m happy for him. I guess.

Geminis are most compatible with Libra, Aquarius, Leo, and Aries.

Leo: Jenny Humphrey

Jenny manages to constantly rise up and be the center of attention. She even almost wins a war against MOTHER F*CKING BLAIR when she’s just a freshman! She is truly invincible, like a Leo. Jenny can never be a follower for too long since she is meant to lead while always staying true to herself, regardless of whom it may upset.

Like the Leo that she is, Jenny’s goal since day one is to not only fit in but to be admired and recognized by the Upper East Side, and she’ll stop at nothing to reach that goal. Being a Leo and a teenager, she can be self-absorbed, always looking out for number one. She’s also passionate in everything she does, which causes her to sometimes throw unnecessarily dramatic temper tantrums, which she later regrets.

As a typical Leo, she also tends to let fame and fortune get to her head too easily. She loves attention and welcomes admiration, but she lets her emotions get the best of her at times. Like a strong lion, she rarely backs down—until she does (but it takes her a while to get there).

Leos are most compatible with Gemini, Aries, Sagittarius, and Libra.

Aquarius: Vanessa Abrams

Horoscope signs aside, I felt sorry for this character. She might as well have had one eye, a hunchback, and a wooden leg because she was always every boy’s last resort on the show! This beauty is artistic, loyal, stubborn, innovative, honest, original, independent, clever, and calm under pressure. She doesn’t display many emotions, so she comes off as a bit detached at times just like a true Aquarius.

Vanessa basically had the worst luck on this show with her love life, so it’s no surprise she eventually left the show because her character deserved more than to become some annoying villain everyone hated. It didn’t make sense. What did make sense here were her obvious daddy issues. She clearly didn’t love herself enough given how she constantly kept waiting on guys who only noticed her when it was convenient for them.

Aquarius is most compatible with Gemini, Libra, and Sagittarius.

Sagittarius: Carter Baizen

Carter is handsome and charming, which is no surprise he manages to score Blair and Serena at one point. As a Sagittarius, Carter is fun, wild, independent, very outgoing, and exciting. He is also highly social, friendly, adventurous and lives his life a little bit too much to the fullest as we see this character struggle with a gambling problem and bad decisions.

This sign is unemotional and not clingy and loves their freedom. One cool thing about this sign though is that they can be very spontaneous which leads to them never really stay at the same spot for too long yet, they are always able to pick up right where they left off.

Sagittarius is most compatible with Aquarius, Leo, Libra and Aries.

Capricorn: Eric van der Woodsen

Honestly, who cares what sign he is. Like, I forgot he was even on the show. Just kidding. I’m just hungry.

Anyway, if I had to guess, I would say, he’s a Capricorn. Eric can sometimes come across as a bit too serious for his age and very independent. He is someone that doesn’t care what people think of him which explain how he was able to come out during a high school party that he secret boyfriend was having just to expose his secret boyfriend for lying about being gay.

Capricorns are very hard working, practical, patient, stubborn, cautious, and disciplined which also means they are normally the DD at parties versus the party animal. Eric is also honest, responsible, cares for his family and is someone people can easily rely on, from advice to help.

Capricorn is most compatible with Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio and Pisces.

Aries: Juliet Sharp

Juliet had a goal and a plan from the first time Nate set his eyes on her. Juliet is confident, bold, independent, a leader, fiery, bossy and spontaneous. Like a true Aries, she is often the seducer in the game of love, she does not get attached too easily, can be insensitive to others, is very ambitious, highly motivated, and is someone who rarely takes no for an answer.

To be honest I don’t care for this character, I just wrote about her because I didn’t want to exclude Aries out from this list.

Aries is most compatible with Gemini, Leo, Virgo and Sagittarius.

•••

And there you have it, folks: The zodiac signs of all the main and some forgetful Gossip Girl characters. I’m about 6+ years late to this party but like most parties I attend, I’m just here for the food and I can’t wait to leave!

Till next time…..

Xoxo Gossip Girl I mean Daddy Issues I mean Violet Benson I mean who am I….