This is a pretty common topic, so even though I’ve already written a similar blog, I feel inclined to write a more comprehensive, updated version. Dating these days has just gotten so hard. There are so many options out there, less people seem willing to commit, and more people seem to be looking for attention instead of a genuine connection. It’s frighteningly common these days to be led on by someone for a few months who keeps a few options lying around while they figure out what they really want.

Before I decided to write this blog, I noticed how many misleading articles there are about commitment-phobic guys: 10 Signs He Likes You Too Much To Commit, 12 Signs He’s Too Afraid To Fall For You, or 6 Signs He’s Going To Leave His GF For You. Like wait What?!?!! SIS NOOOO what is you doing? Who wrote these and why are you reading them? It’s really black-and-white with guys: if he likes you, he will do anything in his power to get you.

So to respond to these misleading articles, If he liked you too much, he would commit… probably forever. The only reason he’d be too afraid to fall for you is because he probably has someone else in his life. And lastly, ever heard of Karma? Don’t be going after other girls’ boyfriends—that will come back and bite you in the ass ya little hussy, so keep it in your pants. There are plenty of other emotionally unavailable guys out there for you, just keep looking sugar thighs.

If you’re still wondering whether or not he likes you, below are 40 signs you can use to figure that out:

1. If he’s texting you all day but not making concrete plans, he’s really into the attention but just not that into you.

2. If he only talks to you about sex, he’s just not that into you.

3. If he never asks about your day, he’s just not that into you.

4. If he’s only talking about himself and doesn’t bother asking about your life, he’s just not that into you.

5. If he thinks of the simple things you ask for as “too many expectations” and/or calls you high maintenance, he’s just not that into you.

6. If he tells you he’s emotionally unavailable or he’s not looking for anything right now RUN because he’s just not that into you.

7. If he’s trying to take it slow and makes comments like, “Let’s just see where this goes,” or “I’m just so busy with work right now,” or “My ex and I broke up five years ago and I’m still healing,” or “I just want to work on our friendship first,” he’s just not that into you (not to mention the other six girls he’s currently entertaining, including his ex).

8. If he’s telling you about other girls he’s talking to, he’s just not that into you.

9. If he makes you feel guilty for ever feeling upset or asking “too many” questions, he’s just not that into you.

10. If your relationship feels one-sided and you’re the only one making an effort to the point that you’re afraid that if you don’t reach out, you probably wont hear from him, he’s just not that into you.

11. If he fills your head with lies and promises but doesn’t actually deliver, he’s just not that into you.

12. If he takes hours to days to get back to you because “he’s been so busy,” or doesn’t respond at all sometimes, he’s just not that into you.

13. If he only hits you up at 2am, he’s just not that into you.

14. If he is constantly criticizing you, he’s just not that into you (and he’s a forking insecure asshole that’s taking his insecurities out on you).

15. If he’s constantly adding a ton of other girls on Instagram, liking their pictures, and leaving thirsty comments, he’s just not that into you.

16. If he’s not going down on you and only cares about his sexual needs, he’s just not that into you.

17. If he shows zero interest in the things that you do or like or really anything about you except your vagina and you feel like you’re constantly feeding his ego, he’s just not that into you.

18. If he openly flirts with other women right in front of you, he’s just not that into you.

19. If he treats you like everyone else and doesn’t even really look at you when you’re around, he’s just not that into you.

20. If he’s not rushing you into sex, he probably just has a small pipi (hehe just had to include this one).

21. If he goes radio silent on you for days to a week at a time and has done this more than once, he’s just not that into you.

22. If he’s not including you in his future plans and/or you have to find out via social media when he’s out of town, he’s just not that into you.

23. If he doesn’t seem to care about your relationships with other men whatsoever—if he doesn’t even demonstrate a tad of jealousy or address being exclusive or anything like that—he’s just not that into you.

24. If he’s never done anything nice for you and just does the bare minimum so you stick around, he’s just not that into you.

25. If he’s never vulnerable with you and never really opens up emotionally, he’s just not that into you.

26. If he never takes you out and only tries to “chill” (aka Netflix and anal), he’s just not that into you.

27. If he comes on strong at first but then suddenly backs off, he’s just not that into you (truth is, he found someone new to give him attention).

28. If he’s the kind of guy you don’t feel comfortable calling when you need help, he’s just not that into you.

29. If he never talks about his family or friends and you’ve never met either, he’s just not that into you.

30. If your friends can’t stand him (I know this one is odd but sometimes your friends can see what you’re too blind to see), he’s just not that into you and it’s time to move on.

31. If he’s constantly too busy for you but magically always has time for his friends, he’s just not that into you.

32. If he cancels plans at the last minute, blows you off when you try to make plans, and never sets an actual time to see you, he’s just not that into you (even if he blows up your phone all the time—he just likes the attention).

33. If he confuses the shit out of you and always keeps you guessing, he’s just not that into you.

34. If you’re always the one going the extra mile for him then at this point not only is he just not that into you but you’re also being used, sis.

35. If you’re constantly wondering how he feels about you, he’s just not that into you because when a man wants something they make it known.

36. If everything seems like it’s done on his terms and conditions, he’s just not that into you.

37. If he’s really brief in texts, never calls, and always asks to hang out at the last minute, he’s just not that into you and you’re his last resort.

38. If he’s not fighting for you and doesn’t care if you walk away, he’s just not that into you. You deserve someone who fights for you!

39. If he’s always angry every time he talks to you, he’s clearly holding onto hurt feelings and it’s time to let go. (This is more of a post breakup one.)

40. If you don’t feel like he’s that into you or he tells you point blank that he’s not that into you, then sis open your eyes! He’s JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

40.1. If you’re reading this blog thinking about him, most likely your gut feeling is correct and he’s just not that into you.

PS. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

PPS. Hey cutie you look nice 🙂 But just a quick reminder in case you forgot and already made a ton of excuses for your situation…… um ya, HE’S STILL NOT THAT INTO YOU.

As hard as it is to accept, the truth is that if he wanted you, you’d know. If he doesn’t want you now, he’s not going to want you later, so stop waiting around. Fighting for someone who doesn’t want to stay will only make it harder for you to let go and will also lower your sense of self-worth. Look, I’ve been there and I’m really attractive, hilarious, and modest, if I may say so myself, so this comes as a shock to me too… but at least you know you’re not alone. (that was my attempt at cracking a joke to lighten up the mood. he he I crack myself up. okay back to you princess).

It hurts when someone doesn’t want you, but it hurts even more to keep chasing someone who doesn’t care.

When you find the right person, he won’t make you question yourself. He won’t let you go to bed sad. You’ll never have to worry about him “finding” time for you, because if he wanted you, he’d make an effort and if he missed you, he’d make the time. He would fight for you. And he’ll let you know how much you mean to him and how everything is better now that you’re around.

So let go of whomever it is you’re thinking about while reading this blog, no matter how hard it might be. And please don’t blame yourself, you didn’t do anything wrong. Never apologize for being who you are. You are not hard to love and you’re more than enough. You offered your love to someone who wasn’t ready to accept it, and that’s okay—it’s his loss. Sometimes not everything makes sense immediately, but eventually you will look back and understand why it didn’t work out.

There is someone out there who will see all of your flaws, and still love you the same, if not more. You deserve that. You deserve to be loved. You deserve the love you so desperately keep trying to give to all the wrong people, so make room in your heart for someone new. Because love is not meant to be hard—it never is when it’s with the right person.

This story originally appeared on Daddy Issues.