I Am Slowly Learning To Accept The Life I’ve Been Given

From here on out, I am breaking the chains that have a hold on my past. I’m releasing the pain and the hurt that I have instilled in my heart. I am finally accepting that l can’t keep trying to make sense of my life.

I just have to live.

I am finally accepting the fact that the past is my past for a reason. That there is a reason that specific people didn’t make it to my future, because people change, people grow, they move on, and that’s okay. The heart I broke, the promises I made, the love I lost, the pain I had, made me exactly who I am today.

I am finally accepting the fact that everything happens the way it is supposed to happen. Embracing the struggles rather than battling against them is helping me mend. It’s freeing me from the hurt. There are some things in life that I don’t have control over, so I am learning to treasure my current situation. Life is moving to fast to dwell the could’ve, and the should’ve.

I am finally accepting the fact that I am allowed to praise myself. I am allowed to love and trust myself. Belittling myself brought too much hate into my heart, so today is the day I stop. I forgot how important self-love is. Today is the day I am going to love myself for all that I am. I am going to love myself for all my strengths, all weaknesses, and with every beat in my heart.

I am finally accepting the fact that I need to give up trying to go against what God has already planned for me. It feels like a game of tug of war with God. I spend so much time trying to change everything rather than valuing what I have. I am finally telling myself that He knows best. He knows when I need to let go and when I need to hold on. For Him, I will zip my lips, open my ears, and listen completely. For Him, I will risk it all.

I am finally accepting the fact that it’s okay to be not okay. It’s okay to cry, it’s normal, and it’s healthy. If life were rainbows and butterflies all the time, then there wouldn’t be room for improvement. Life is about appreciating the highs and accepting the lows. There will be times where I have no idea what I’m doing, or why I am even here, but this is a sign of growth, and a sign of change. I’m not supposed to know everything. This is normal.

I am finally accepting the fact that I am not on the same path as everyone else. Constantly comparing myself and wishing for life to be different will prevent me from loving my present life. I will graduate, I will have my dream career, I will get married, I will have children, and I will do it when it is my time. Right now, I will cherish all I have, and learn as much as I can, so I am able to be the very best version that God wants me to be.

I am finally accepting the fact that, just because I’m not my old self, doesn’t mean I can’t be a better self. I am not the same fearless, and careless girl as I once was, and I am finally accepting of that. I am more aware, more cautious, and honestly, more loving. I am still learning to fix my damaged heart, but that’s what makes me so unique. The process of loving myself will help me become a healthier me.

I’ve dealt with all my demons, and have spent too much time being chained to my past. I am not my past, I am not my faults, I am not my letdowns, and I am not that same person.

As of now, I’m hindering myself from watering the garden of my past, and entirely focusing on watering the garden of my future.

Today, I am finally accepting myself.