The dating world can be a arduous environment. Understanding the opposite sex is daunting and some of us just need a little bit of guidance. No shame in admitting that. Well ladies, you have come to the right place. I too was once a plane Jane with not a clue on how to pick up guys. Now, let’s just say… I’m a real Jeffery Dahmer when it comes to flirting. So hear are some of my best tips, guaranteeing you any male of your choosing. These tips are geared towards public scenario settings. Say, the club, a bar, the bathroom, etc.
1. Play Hard to Get
Avoid all eye contact. Make no effort in initiating conversation. Ensure he is unaware of your existence. This drives guys insane.
2. Make Physical Contact
Gently touch his arm. Playfully punch him. Lick him on the nose. Rub up against him like a cat.
3. Compliment Him
Guys love when you compliment them, it builds their confidence and they become more interested. Something along the lines of “I love your personality.” or “You’re a great friend.”
4. Be Natural You
Many guys agree that girls look better when they’re not caked in makeup, so I’ve decided to take this and crank it up a notch. Be the all natural you! Skip the makeup, dress however you please, neglect personal hygiene, BO is your new perfume, grow your leg hairs out long enough to cornrow, let yourself go. BE YOU!
5. Get a Catchy Pickup Line
This shows wit and it’s a great way to garner someone’s interest in you immediately. My personal favorite is “Hello good sir, on a scale of 1-10 I’d say you’re a solid 2 but I’m sure you’re sensitive and have low enough standards for me to meet.”
6. Have Good Conversations Ready
Never go into to talk to someone without at least having some prepared conversations. This way you avoid awkward silences. Talk about religion, the current state of the political landscape, complain about your ex.
7. Ask Penetrating Questions
A good conversationalist lets the other person talk more, show this guy you care and ask interesting questions about him. “Are you emotionally available?”, “How many children do you plan on having in the future?”, “Does it make you insecure when women attack your masculinity?”
8. Be You
Be the real you, don’t hide behind what you think will impress him. Allow him the amazing opportunity to know how fantastic you are. Serenade him with a song, do that dance you did in your fifth grade recital, fart on him, talk about the heavy flow of your period. Be open and he will react to that openness.
Good luck ladies. Use any one of these tips and become the Casanova of our generation.