8 Ways To Breakup With Your Car


1. Stop doing nice things to it. No more scented air fresheners with sweet-smelling aromas, no new floor mats, keep the dingy, tattered ones in there — and certainly no more trips to the car wash. Let the paint job be ruined and the appeal disappear. Suddenly, after letting it go physically, you’ll have an easier time ditching that crusty ride for a new one. Or you can take it a step further…

2. Give up on routine maintenance. Ignoring that check engine light as if the issue is going to disappear is one method, or you can just drive hundreds of miles without changing the oil. No tender love and care for your vehicle makes for a malfunctioning machine. Not washing it and disregarding the car’s aesthetics is one thing, but destroying it mechanically will force you to part ways with it.

3. Just start driving something new. Eventually it’ll realize, hey, I haven’t been used in weeks. Slowly but surely the dust and dirt will gather, forming a layer of neglect. The engine will grow comfy in its rest and the car that you once loved will be nothing more than a decoration in a garage or a driveway. This method is for those who don’t do well with breakups and don’t have the courage to flat out part ways with their ex vehicle.

4. Leave the doors unlocked or park it in dimly lit areas in the hopes that it will be stolen. This will leave you less guilt-ridden over the whole thing. It’s not your fault! It’s society’s.

5. Give it away. Got a sibling or family member in need of a car? Do something nice and hand down this poor vehicle, for which you no longer have use. There’s always someone who would rather be riding around on four wheels than strolling on two feet.

6. Break up slowly, really dragging things out. Basically this would mean selling it part by part, methodically and over time. Perhaps the tires go first, then the rims, then the CD player and so on. As much as it’ll hurt to see this happen leisurely, several pieces of your vehicle will live on and satisfy other drivers for some time to come.

7. Bet it on a bad hand of poker. We all know the setup: an intense table of shady characters, and you’re down to your last chips. Throw your keys on the table. You might draw a bad hand, but hey, at least you got rid of that pesky car.

8. Sell it. It’s just a logical thing to do when you’re over it. If your relationship with this vehicle has run its course, make some money from it and get a Zipcar membership. And put the cash you save towards something that will make you feel better about that ex-car. Like ice cream. TC mark

image – Justin Wolfe
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