Almost Transparent Blue by Ryu Murakami

Almost Transparent Blue (1976) was written by Ry? Murakami (b. 1952) while he was a student at Musashino Art University, where he was enrolled in the sculpture program. It was his first novel and was awarded the Akutagawa Prize (Japan’s “most sought after” literary prize; previous winners include Kobo Abe and Kenzaburo Oe) and sold…

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WHY IS THIS ESSAY SO LONG?

Initially I wanted to write a ~700-word “piece” that mostly paraphrased the funnier or more notable scenes in the book, with some commentary. As I studied the book I became obsessed, to some degree, because it seemed both autobiographical and structured in a manner that made me want to reread it repeatedly. I decided to “exploit” my natural interest and write the “end-all” English essay of it. Also, at some point, I read a review that called it “incoherent,” which made me feel bad and more motivated, I think, to write a comprehensive essay.

WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT THIS ESSAY?

It seemed “excruciating” to write and edit. At most times, thinking about the book’s tone or themes or effect on me, I felt able to type almost anything and feel that it seemed accurate, due to the book’s non-rhetorical nature, which made it difficult to type things.

I frequently thought “I don’t know what I’m talking about, I honestly don’t know what I’m talking about,” often after forming entire paragraphs, within which each sentence was designed to elaborate on the previous, in a manner that would “lead somewhere,” but upon rereading would seem to be the same sentence repeated four times. I felt, throughout, that I could write much more, like ten times as much, about whatever I was writing about and still feel like I was misrepresenting, simplifying, or blocking out certain aspects of the book.

I seemed to often become fixated on editing single paragraphs, but only the sentence structure and punctuation, not the content, and would feel “desperate” after an amount of time, as I moved commas to different places and replaced parenthesis with em-dashes—and other things like that—in a neurotic, unsatisfying manner.

Sometimes I felt encouraged to continue by a feeling that I now felt more excited to write fiction, and that if I read an essay like this by someone else, on the internet, I might also feel more excited to write fiction. Sometimes was encouraged to continue by thinking that I would feel excited to read an essay like this about one of my books.


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Tao Lin

Daily Devotional

Devotionals

Monday, July 7, 2025

Your Daily Devotional 7/7/2025: The Peace You Don’t Have to Strive For

Devotional Message When we stand with God—both in character and action, living in accordance with His will, timing, and plan—that righteousness is what produces profound inner peace. The natural result of this state of obedience is wholeness and harmony, where no outward consequence, circumstance, or challenge can disrupt the satisfaction, warmth, and certainty in our […]

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