15 Women On Why They Find Older Men More Attractive Than Boys Their Own Age


“I liked him because I wasn’t supposed to. Looking back I think it was a learning curve. He was mature, stable and knew exactly what he wanted. I didn’t. So that’s what attracted me the most to him. The thrill of indulging in something that wasn’t socially acceptable. (He was 8 years older than me but I was only sixteen at the time, and the first person I got physical with.)” – Samaira, 20

“Being with a man and not a boy has its own perks. Talking from personal experience, honesty is at the peak of them all. Having been with a lot of women over the years, they are no longer confused, they know what they seek and if that happens to be you then you should feel lucky. They have passed that stage where they fuck around just because they are horny all the time. They are selective, they have control over their hormones and emotions which makes them very desirable.

If I get knocked up and miss a period, I know my man will handle it. It reduces my stress. I had unprotected sex and was worried as hell when I missed my period. He reassured me that there is nothing to worry about and that come what may, he will be there standing by me. My friend on the other hand, had sex with a boy and when she told him that she might have an infection, instead of showing concern he got defensive by saying “whatever happened between us has nothing to do with that.” – Tass, 23

“Of course it’s normal for women to be attracted to older men, just as it is the other way round. I have been attracted to older men myself. I looked for maturity, a semi father figure perhaps. But, most of all, I looked for security, someone to sort me out without thinking that I am childish. Someone to handle my strengths with grace and encouragement, while helping me overcome my weaknesses without judgement. We feel older men are more calm and collected, not like the testosterone-charged boys we find all around. Boys have tantrums. But older men have solutions. They are patient, forgiving and empathetic.” – Lolita, 32

“Attraction, for me, goes beyond the realm of simple physicality. So the ability to communicate, transparency and straightforwardness are the game changers. Men don’t waste time playing mind games, there are no barriers in their communication. They know what they want, and they know how to get it.” – Reena, 40 

“To be blunt, most older men have their shit together.

They’ve been through the emotional upheavals in life and are more or less at a place where they appreciate women and relationships.

Apart from learning a thing or two in bed on the way, older men appeal to me because of their maturity,  their firm hold of reality,  their pampering yet respectful mannerisms and not to mention their ability to grow out some sexy facial hair.

From my past relationships with both younger and older men,  I’ve come to realise that older men tend to believe in  a equal stance and have long forgotten the days of pursuing or seducing women, which I prefer. ” – Angie, 21

“I particularly, feel attracted to men who can speak well.  The kind where they can intrigue you. In a manner of mystery.

But at the same time, a direct and clear persona. Someone who knows what they are. I think that’s a trait that comes with being older. You are mostly more sorted in life and you stop caring about what other people think of you. A sort of security, and to believe that they can provide that security to you. People comfortable in their own space, making you comfortable in turn. Sexual prowess, I associate a man’s hotness to how well they maintain themselves. I majorly lack that ability, and seeing another person doing it creates an attraction out of awe. Emotional maturity comes with lesser and lesser fucks to given people’s thoughts and more to what the self needs.” – Kai, 19

“Women tend to mature emotionally faster than men. Men who are older will obviously connect better with you. And to be brutally honest, being desired by someone older, hotter and sorted is so much more exciting than being liked by a boy your own age. I’m attracted to them because they’re not easy targets. You have to earn their lust, it doesn’t come cheap.” – Sheena, 33

“I for one am unapologetically attracted  to older men. You’d think it’s just about the way they look. The rugged beard, more intense eyes, the exhausted voice but it’s not all that. The point is that women in general are much more mature than men are (scientifically proven). When I see or have a conversation with an older man, it’s just more easy, more meaningful. You can go places with such men that you can’t with men your own age or younger. Sexually for that matter, it’s so much more appealing and satisfying when you’re with someone who is mature in their way of being. One could argue that men your age could have slept with far more people. True. But it’s never the same. That excitement and fantasy of being with someone older is unmatched.

From personal experience I know I was attracted to someone much older because he didn’t complicate things. It was what it was and I’d never had that before.” – Moira, 25 

“They always use the best cologne.” – Anita, 20 

“I usually find more things in common with a man who is elder, from books to wine. Secondly, I believe age brings about a certain decisiveness in you. The ability to be sure about a given thing. To have a firm opinion about it. There’s a certain gentleness to the men I’ve seen in a romantic perspective, that just doesn’t exist in boys my age. Men are calm, affirmative, yet always gentle. And gentleness is so underrated.” – Dee, 21

“I think there are lot of things that come only with experience. Respect and how to treat a woman come with age because boys aren’t taught anything of the sort as kids or teenagers. Most of the guys my age are interested in things I don’t have any interest in. Like gaming. Or smoking up. I have never related to these things and I never will. Guys who are older have sort of outgrown this rebellious, experimental phase and are stable in their thoughts and ideas. Most importantly, they know how to treat a woman. How to respect her ambitions and thoughts and ideas and feelings. Also the sex is better, which is a very important detail. Obviously.” – Ash, 22

“Because there’s no pressure on men to look younger, as there is on women. They can resemble a wrinkled sack but it won’t matter, because we’ve been conditioned to believe that’s normal anyway. Plus the whole “older men know more than younger men, are wiser, are more experienced” vibe plays a huge part. There’s a difference between being attractive and being good looking – older men who WANT to be attractive to other women, can be.” – Zara, 25

“Two words – Sex appeal.” – Kim, 28

“They know how to put the moves on a girl. Moves that don’t include WYD and Send Nudes. I like to be wooed, and men my age don’t understand the concept of courtship, the importance of flirtation without sex as an ultimate end.”  – Tara, 22

“They’re kinder people. And they give the best head.” – AP, 27 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Tanvi Deshmukh

Tanvi Mona Deshmukh is a writer and poetess from Pune, India, with an affinity for words and books, cats and coffee, Nepalese food and hippie music, and the color green.

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