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You’re everything I’ve always wanted but never thought I could find.

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1. “I’m fine.”

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Once I found out that Jason not only ate Golden Delicious apples but preferred them, it was over.

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Unfortunately that is not what religious freedom means.

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When I said something funny, you touched my hand. Your teeth were so white. Your hair was so shiny. I wanted you so, so badly.

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This show was written by the writers of NBC’s The Voice. Or it was written, in collaboration, by singers on NBC’s The Voice. Or it was written by NBC’s The Voice after NBC’s The Voice anthropomorphized.

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It’s been rumored that certain lesbians have tried to escape West Hollywood, only to mysteriously disappear. Most don’t even think to try it because the second they leave their incestuous pool of lesbian friends, they start to melt and become disoriented. “Does Santa Monica have a lesbian coffee shop? I must have my coffee made by a lesbian…”

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Perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show was Carrie’s lax work schedule. Homegirl only had to write one column a week in a crappy newspaper and still managed to make rent, buy designer clothing, and eat out at fabulous restaurants. No wonder she had to whore herself out to Mr. Big.

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Do gay guys and lesbians get along with each other? I know this might be a silly question, but I’ve never really seen an overlap. Gay men seem to have a separate distinct culture from lesbians and I was curious to see if that’s actually true.