“

Buddha never said: “Live. Laugh. Love.” And I’m pretty sure “You are beautiful like a rainbow” isn’t a Swedish proverb. Worse still is when you swear you’ve heard it before, and you’re like, “Wait, isn’t that from The Crow?”

“

You will go to the mall every day. This is your religion. You should steal some jewelry from ‘Claire’s’ or a place like it. You should do this even if you’re a boy, because then people will think you’re funny for wearing a heart charm, or smooth if you give it to a girl later. Don’t say anything, just kind of drop it in her hand or in her lap, wrapped in a piece of notebook paper haphazardly…