We meet during a weird time in both of our lives.
“Y’know,” he said, “If Trump gets elected, you get a free ride back to Mexico.”
As a survivor of sexual assault and thus a person who already feels unsafe in their body, especially in public places, street harassment is triggering to me. A reminder that my body is not my own in rape culture, that other people believe themselves entitled to my body and my time.
If someone doesn’t have the moral capacity to treat you with basic respect or act with integrity, it is doubtful they have changed overnight for someone else.
Every night I sit alone. As the rest of the world settles down at the table with family and friends, my need for food or comfort was relinquished long ago.
I didn’t feel empowered, I felt scared.
Don’t confuse this phrase with negativity, don’t look at it as a cop out or an excuse for poor behavior, because it’s not. It’s allowing yourself to be grounded in truth. It’s allowing yourself to understand that some things just are, that they cannot be altered. It’s acceptance.
People change. People are selfish. People abandon you. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it is devastating at times. But ultimately it is not your fault.
You watch as you lose friends who you’ve had for years, way longer than you’ve known your ex; you watch as they separate themselves from you because they don’t know how to handle what you are going through.
I think I get now why most people who suffer from depression or mental illness in general prefer to just withdraw after a while.