“

“She set herself on fire after losing her baby.”

“

“If they start talking to Jesus, you need to get ready for something bad.”

“

“I’m pretty sure she told me she was on the Pill.”

“

Okay, for you, my small group of fans, here is the ending that should have happened.

“

“There was a big man last night and he bashed Mummy with a bat. Mummy won’t wake up to give me any breakfast.”

“

3. Family Ties – Nostalgia. What’s that? I can barely hear this song over the deafening longing for my childhood.

“

WHY WAS IT SO TERRIBLE?

“

No but like seriously, can you not? I literally just got a pap smear and I realllllllly don’t want to go back to the gyno, at least not ’til I’m dead.

“

It’s not just that J.K. Rowling can’t stop telling her own stories. It’s that we don’t want to let her.

“

“Eight years and this is the ending we get?!?”