What happens when youâre not up for meaningless one-night stands but arenât ready to make your romance official? Thatâs when you find yourself in a situationship.
A situationship is something in between casual and committed. Itâs an ambiguous agreement to share some responsibility and emotional connections with one another without putting a label on things. We used to call this behavior âdating,â but everything in 2020 and beyond has to have cool new lingo.
Some people prefer situationships, since it allows them to take things slow, while others enter into situationships to try and get their crush to make things official.
Are situationships healthy? Can you make them evolve into committed partnerships? Thatâs what weâre here to find out.
Situationship pros and cons
Are you curious about a situationship? Not sure if a situationship is for you?
Do you like someone who isnât willing to make it official and youâve decided youâre ready to try going casual with them?
Here are some of the pros and cons of being semi-committed.
PRO: You still have the thrill of the chase
One of the reasons that commitment tends to bore people is because the longer youâre with someone, the less exciting it is. You no longer have the thrill of the chase, and your list of âfirstsâ (e.g., first kiss, first date, etc.) starts to dwindle.
When youâre in a situationship, youâre still playing a thrilling will we/wonât we game with your crush, which means your next thrill is right around the corner.
CON: No commitment
A lack of commitment could be considered a pro or a con, depending on your preference.
For some, the lack of commitment may sound like a reason to celebrate, but consider this: No commitment means youâll never feel secure.
If you have a wild crush on the person youâre spending all of your time with, thereâs no guarantee that they wonât break your heart. Even if there is some level of emotional commitment in your relationship, that doesnât mean there will be intimate exclusivity.
PRO: Thereâs no pressure
When you donât make things official, there is no pressure, which can take a lot of stress out of the relationship. You donât have to worry about moving in together, popping the question, having kids, or meeting the family. All you have to do is have fun and enjoy each otherâs company.
No pressure also means you arenât reporting to someone else. While itâs always polite to let someone youâre emotionally intimate with know whatâs going on with you, there is no responsibility to let your partner know where youâre going, who youâre with, or what you want to do next!
CON: Potentially ruining a friendship
One downside to a situationship, especially one that isnât going anywhere serious, is that you may be ruining a great friendship by catching feelings for each other.
PRO: Itâs easy to bail
One pro of being in a situationship is that you donât have to put up with a romance you donât like. You havenât made any promises to your crush, so if they start making rules you arenât comfortable with, turn into a jerk, or display toxic traits, you can bail on the romance without a second thought.
CON:Â You arenât building a future
If youâre someone who dreams of getting married and starting a family, a situationship probably isnât for you.
You can be in a situationship with someone for years and not be building toward anythingâengagement, a house, pet, kids, etc. For some, this could make a situationship feel like a giant waste of time.
PRO: No awkward social responsibilities
One of the best parts of being in a situationship is that you donât have to suck it up for awkward social gatherings with your spouse. You donât have to do any of the following:
Deal with obnoxious friends
Commit to special occasions
Celebrate anniversaries
Meet the parents/siblings/extended family
Include your partner in any future plans
Can a situationship lead to a relationship?
The point of a situationship is to avoid the serious commitment that comes from a traditional romantic relationship. That being said, situationships can easily turn into relationships.
If you and your casual partner have strong chemistry, love being around each other, and develop deep feelings for the other, turning your situationship into a relationship is just a conversation away.
Both partners must be willing to openly and honestly communicate their feelings. Although, sometimes a simple âI really like you, and I feel like this partnership works for me. How do you feel?â is the easiest way to make things official.
Can a relationship turn into a situationship?
As for whether a relationship can devolve into a situationship, the answer is, without a doubt, yes. The longer you are with someone, the clearer it becomes whether or not you have a real future together.
After dating for some time, even if itâs been years, you may start to feel more like friends who just kiss than partners who are madly in love.
Should I try a situationship?
Yes, situationships can turn into relationships, and committed relationships can fade into complicated situationships. But if you want to be in a situationship with your crush in the hopes that theyâll catch feelings and turn things into a real relationship, donât!
The risk isnât worth the emotional uncertainty and stress youâll put yourself through, hoping your crush will come around.
In the end, you either like someone or you donât. Itâs that simple!
Donât settle for a situationship when a relationship is what youâre after. Be brave enough to have the âWhat are we?â conversation and youâll be on your way to a satisfying and stable connection to your partner.