1. Sometimes, they zone out while staring at you so that they don’t quite realize that they’re doing it. It is indescribably endearing when they notice that you’ve caught them like this — slack-jawed, eyes glazed — and they quickly look elsewhere, just the teeniest bit flustered.
2. In the morning, when they haven’t quite woken up, they might groggily reach out and pull you towards them. Or kiss your hair. Or rub your shoulders. Or keep your feet warm with their fleshy, slightly sweaty toes. What most guys don’t realize is that learning how to execute a proper morning cuddle is key to making most people fall deeply for them. Cuddle frustration is a #real struggle.
3. It is 2014, and brunch is hot. What’s even hotter is when your dude-friend, gentleman caller, bed yoga partner, etc. has strong opinions about brunch. This means he knows where you can get the best bagel and lox, vegan tofu scramble, or cheddar grits in the city…and he takes you there post morning cuddle, natch. If he brunches, he’s a keeper.
4. There are few more adorable spectacles in society than guys who sing and dance poorly but try nonetheless — with all the zeal of Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. That guy in the corner of a party, fist pumping to “Levels” by Avicii or singing along to Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” all by his lonesome…doesn’t he make you want to grab him by the shoulders and pinch his lil’ cheeks? Which set not specified.
5. Most guys don’t understand how attractive it is when they drop knowledge nuggets, but it is even more attractive when these knowledge nuggets are subtle and unexpected. Pretentiousness is a massive deal-breaker (it’s cool that you read Zizek’s latest essay on whatever-it-was, but it lessens your culture capital when you spend time making sure that the whole world knows you read it). On the other hand, it is swoon-worthy when that dude sitting in the back of your classroom opens his mouth for the first time all semester and goes on an impassioned rant about cognitive dissonance. At one point, you weren’t sure if he was literate, but now you’re, like, pretty much in love with him.
6. Growing up, I had a massive crush on John Krasinski, who played Jim on The Office. It’s common knowledge that funny guys are a superior breed of human, but John Krasinski doesn’t rely on loud, borderline-obnoxious, slapstick or blue humor. Instead, his humor is so dry that you sometimes miss it if you don’t pay close enough attention. Dudes who are that deadpan keep you sharp because you can’t tell whether or not they’re mocking you.
7. I like coffee, and I think that it is a huge no-no when a romantic prospect falls on the wrong side of the great coffee vs. tea debate. That being said, I only drink black coffee (#lol), but — for whatever reason — I find it adorable when guys unabashedly enjoy more involved coffee drinks. I mean, doesn’t the idea of some guy who wears lax pinnies and reads TFM in earnest sipping a sugary caramel frappe or pumpkin spice latte sound weirdly cute to you?
8. There are smooth guys and there are guys who fall on the less socially apt end of the spectrum. Personally, I think that those who belong in the latter category are underrated. Imagine someone grabbing you by the hands, looking deeply into your eyes, and nervously laying a thick line on you like, “I like you. Can I, uh, can I see you again?” Not that smooth, but ehhh…not that bad either.