Jewish Boys Are The Most Dateable Boys

My friend recently bought me a “Nice Jewish Guys” calendar for my birthday — featuring 12 months of the sexiest Adams, Aris, Davids, and Jonathans that Urban Outfitters could find. That was when I knew that this shiksa’s obsession with homeboys from the Tribe may have gotten a bit out of hand.

I went to a Jewish prep school for most of my life, and an integral part of my middle-school social scene included going to sock-hops at the JCC and bar/bat mitzvahs every weekend (we knew how to party). Even today, I can wolf down more matzo brei than anyone else I know and when any of my friends suggest making weekend brunch plans, I will insist passionately upon going to our local Jewish deli, Goldberg’s — if not for the food, then certainly for the eye candy.

My attraction to nice, Jewish boys leaves most of my friends — Jewish and otherwise — perplexed but amused. I am a five-foot, three Asian girl, but nothing is sexier to me than a mass of messy, brown curls (colloquially known as a “Jewfro”) on a boy who can appreciate a delicious piece of hamantash (and to finally settle the great latke-hamantash debate: hamantashen are superior). While most girls in college trawl frats or house parties to find less-than-dazzling gems, I prefer the hidden treasure trove that is my school’s Hillel.

There are numerous reasons why Jews make for some of the most datable dudes, but I’ve settled on a few of my favorite (PG-rated) reasons. I realize that these don’t apply in all cases, but I’ve found them to be true for the most part.

First, Jewish boys are typically family-oriented — a predisposition that comes from a long tradition of tight-knit Jewish communities and holidays that focus on familial bonds. Though this is certainly not true across the board, many are close to their parents (especially their mothers) and have consequently learned how to treat women well. And there is nothing hotter than a boy who treats the ladies in his life respectfully!

Second, Jewish boys are usually ambitious and driven; many have a clear (or somewhat clear) idea of what they plan to do after college. When I was younger, I went through a phase (that, to be fair, affects most girls) where I was deeply and unfortunately attracted to boys who looked vaguely homeless and had no drive in life other than to play as many games of FIFA as possible. Thankfully, I grew out of that, and as I’ve gotten older (and more mature, I like to think), guys who hope to do something meaningful with their lives have become more and more attractive.

Third, Jewish boys can be some of the most nurturing you’ll meet. Having developed a sense of steadfast patience after years of sitting through Hebrew school, they will good-naturedly listen as you whine about your problems and help you come up with intelligent solutions. After all, these boys are well endowed…with big brains!

With my profound love of Jewish men, I’m just holding my breath for the day that I can sucker in the Mark Zuckerberg to my Priscilla Chan.