10 Proactive Things You Can Do Right Now To Better Your Relationship

When it comes to relationships I feel it’s safe to say that most of us want the same thing. We want to feel that closeness from the beginning of the flame, even when we are years into the relationship. We don’t ever intend to drift apart, but life happens to all of us and those sparks can start to dim. These are the steps we can all take to better our relationships so we never lose that steady connection.

Seriously, make date nights a thing!

I know, I know. This seems like the most basic advice given, but the reason you keep hearing it is because it’s actually important. Making date nights a priority gives you and your partner much needed time alone that doesn’t have to involve taking care of the kids, thinking about bills or any other daily task. It doesn’t matter if you want to dress up and go downtown or if you want to order Chinese food and watch that movie you’ve both been dying to see at home. Whatever you guys like to do, just do it.

Text them randomly during the day.

Sometimes daily talk can become routine as if you are always having the same conversations about work and schedules. Sending your partner a quick text in the middle of the day to remind them you love them or that you are thinking of them can make a big difference. It’s a super simple way of saying, hey, you’re one my mind and I miss you.

Express appreciation.

One of the worst feelings in a relationship is feeling like you are being taken for granted. It can mean the world to your partner to let them know how much you appreciate what they do for you. Try to let go of the little grievances you have about petty things and instead, let them know how much you love them for all of the things they are doing right. Show them that you see their efforts and it does not go unnoticed. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to feel like they are appreciated.

Ask them about their day, and actually listen.

It seems so simple, but there are so many people who don’t get asked, hey honey, how was your day? And that’s a huge bummer. Maybe their day absolutely sucked and you asking about it opens them up to vent their frustrations. Or, maybe their day was totally awesome and they will be excited to tell you about how it went. The catch is that you can’t just ask the question and then start daydreaming, off in your own little world. You have to actually listen and make sure they know you care, even about the mundane stuff.

Leave the door open for deep conversations.

You can’t force someone into talking about the deep stuff. All you have to do is be open to it. It’s amazing how the most ordinary conversations can lead into digging deeper and getting to know each other under the surface level. I think we try to jam pack all of the big talks into our first phases of dating so you can get to know each other quickly. Honestly, though, the best conversations are when you are deeper into the relationship and can understand each other in a completely different way. Don’t get caught up in the daily routine so much that you close the door on having real conversations.

Brag about them.

Sometimes it’s our own mindset that needs a refresher. Remember when you first started dating your partner and nobody could get you to shut up about them? Eventually, when the novelty wears off, we stop talking about them so much, or worse, we start to talk only about the negative things. The truth is that we need to speak highly of our significant other and always boost them up in our minds. The more positive we speak and feel about our partner, the more positive the relationship is in general.

Do more things together.

I know that after we have spent so much time with our partners, it can be easy to get into our own little worlds, separate from each other. Sometimes strengthening your bond is as simple as going out together to run errands and handle the little things. The best relationship is the kind where even those most menial tasks can be fun, simply because you are together.

Let them know you are excited to see them!

When your significant other first walks in the door to come home, make sure they know you are happy to see them! Hold off on the honey-do list for a little bit and welcome them back first. People tend to be happier going home when they know someone on the other side of the door is happy to see them walk through it.

Laugh together!

Nothing makes me feel more comfortable with my person than when we are laughing together. It doesn’t matter if we are making fun of each other or watching a comedy flick at home. It’s important to have a sense of humor around your partner and be able to belly laugh together.

Stop expecting them to be your mind reader.

One of the worst ways we sabotage our own relationships is by having expectations that we never voice to each other. Expecting your partner to know what you want without telling them is really just setting yourself up for disappointment. We build up resentment against each other when we assume our partner knows what we need and they don’t fulfill those needs. Speak up! Tell them how you feel and what you need so you don’t risk building a wall between the two of you that will be hard to knock down later.

About the author

Stephani Shaner

Colorado native, cult escapee.