This Is Why You Didn’t Fall In Love In 2017, Based On Your Birth Month

Andrew Dong


Because you put on a front of being overly critical and hard to impress, in order to protect your own feelings. 

You’re ambitious, you’re hardworking, and you make stuff happen all day every day. But because of all that, you tend to bury your emotions and make them a backseat priority in order to focus on success. The reason you didn’t fall in love in 2017 is because you’re so scared of getting hurt and of actually addressing your own feelings, that instead you put forth a cold and hard-to-impress exterior as a way of keeping your walls up and keeping people away.


Because when it came to your love life this year, you were both incredibly sensitive and incredibly stubborn. 

You were very shy with being open about your romantic feelings, and your feelings were easily hurt. But at the same time, you were also very stubborn about even admitting your interest in someone, so many of your romantic prospects didn’t even realize they had a shot. You wanted everyone else to make the first move and even then, you were still shy and stubborn about admitting your own feelings – so your relationships were over before they even had the chance to start.


Because you struggled to let go of grudges. 

By all means, you should expect the best from whoever you date – you deserve to be treated with love, respect, loyalty, and tenderness. But you have a hard time letting go of your significant others’ (or potential significant others’) past screwups. And we’re not talking major things like cheating. Rather, even after your partner apologizes for something like being short with you last night, or not attending your friend’s birthday party with you, you hold it over them for a long time. You tend to bring it up in other fights, even when it’s unrelated, and you continue to talk about it long after they’ve apologized and you’ve ‘forgiven’ them.  You haven’t yet learned how much of a detrimental effect this tendency can have in your relationships, and until you do, it will continue to cause problems.


Because you jumped into things with people at full-speed, before you even decided how much you really liked them. 

You have a natural thirst for adventure, and you are always drawn to things that are bright, exciting, and fast. This has lead to you living a very thrilling and active life, but you haven’t yet learned how to positively adjust this characteristic in your dating life. You fall hard and fast, and oftentimes, you’re so in love with the idea of being in love that you don’t even give yourself time to truly get to know someone (and really understand whether or not they’re the person you want or the right person for you). You didn’t fall in love in 2017 because you weren’t focusing on finding the right person – you were just zeroing in on whoever was most exciting to you in the moment.


Because you held onto your anger even after it was time to let it go.

You have every right to expect the best out of whoever you date – you’re a focused, strong, and motivated person, and you deserve someone who can keep up with you. And because of this strong ambition, it’s natural that there will be some fighting in your relationships – you’re typically in high-pressure jobs, you have a lot of goals you want to accomplish, and that can make it challenging to try to also balance a healthy relationship with someone. The problem is not that you fight in your relationships (every relationship needs a certain amount of healthy fighting), the problem is that you can get overly defensive while also wanting to point out all the things your partner does wrong. You have a hard time taking the blame in your relationship when something is your fault, and you also have a hard time forgiving your partner and letting things go when something is their fault. Your focus in 2018 needs to be about being willing to admit wrongdoing in your relationships, and to forgive your partner when they’re the one in the wrong.


Because you got bored way too easily in your relationships. 

When you’re in a relationship, you really are a lovely person to be around – you have a great sense of humor, you’re sensitive, you can have really meaningful connections and conversations. The problem you have is that you get restless very quickly – you love the time period in the relationship where everything is new and giddy and novel. But then as soon as things settle down, you get restless and bored and antsy – instead of letting yourself appreciate how wonderful it can feel to be with someone who truly understands you and knows you below that flirty, mysterious surface level. You have to enjoy the moment when the relationship actually becomes deep and three-dimensional, because even though the ‘falling’ part is fun, the ‘comfortable’ part is where you really start to feel connected.


Because you were too passive about your own love life.

You’ve never struggled with making friends – you have a very approachable and magnetic nature. But when it comes to romantic prospects, you’ve always retreated, stayed quiet, and preferred that other people make the big moves. The reason you didn’t fall in love in 2017 isn’t because you aren’t a warm and enjoyable person to be around – the reason is that you wanted to just sit back and wait for other people to make choices and take risks and put themselves out there. You’re not going to have much luck in 2018 unless you decide to take your dating life into your own hands.


Because every time you were dating someone or were in a relationship, you tried to run the whole thing yourself. 

Your natural gift for leadership is typically a very positive quality – except for when it negatively impacts your relationships. The problem is that you’ve forgotten in the past that a relationship is about the mutual support, decision-making, and union of two equal partners. Instead of looking at your relationships that way, you’ve looked at them as things that you need to run, control, and perfect. It’s not a healthy way to live, for you or your partner, and it’s something that’s always going to ruin your relationships until you learn to start prioritizing balance.


Because you were searching for reasons for your relationships not to work out. 

You have a hard time not being critical of others – especially when you’re in a vulnerable place, such as a relationship where you’re not yet sure how you feel or what you want. Sometimes out of insecurity, and sometimes out of fear, you ended up criticizing the person you were dating or criticizing your relationship – searching for flaws and for reasons why it would ultimately fail, as if you were trying to get ahead of possible disappointment. Until you start letting yourself actually try to fall in love, regardless of the risk of heartbreak, you’re going to remain single.


Because you let other people have way too much say in your love life. 

You’re great at making friends and showing affection, but you’re not so great at making sure that you don’t let other people have too much say in your life and your choices. You’re so close with your loved ones that when they give you advice or share an opinion about a choice you’re making (or a person you’re dating), you’re not able to look at it just as something to consider – instead, you convince yourself that you must now feel this way too. That other people’s opinions are always the right opinions, even if you disagree. In 2018, when it comes to your dating life (and even other aspects of your life), you have to start making choices for yourself instead of letting everyone else decide things for you.


Because you got too comfortable with being secretive and detached. 

You love having your own independent life, which is an awesome mentality – but you haven’t yet realized that being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t also be independent. You spent too much time in 2017 trying to keep a safe distance from whoever you were seeing or dating or talking to you, and you caught so caught up in trying to keep your personal life and your dating life separate that it just ended up blowing up in your face. You need to spend 2018 learning how to let people in while still maintaining a healthy balance of individuality – it’s absolutely possible.


Because you actually put too much logic and practicality into your dating life. 

Being practical, reasonable, and rational in love is actually important – to a point. But you were so practical, and so set on being logical that you started looking at love too formulaically. Rather than allowing yourself to just breathe and live in the moment and enjoy the person you were with, you were trying to plan out every step – are we compatible? at what point would we want to move in together? at what age would they want to start a family? At some point, you do have to answer these kinds of questions when you possibly want to form a life with someone, but it becomes a problem when it takes up every second of your time together and is the only thing you think about. You should continue to be smart and well-reasoned in your love life, but you also have to live a little. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog