I am not looking for any type of ordinary love. I am only accepting of a love that is raw and real.

I am not looking for any type of surface-level love. I am only accepting of a love that is bottomless.

Truthfully, I am not even really looking love. I gave up that search long ago. But if I was, I now know what I am looking for.

After years of losing lust and lovers I couldn’t trust, I know in my heart what was there all along.

If I am to love again, I need it to be vulnerable. If I am to love again, I need it to be authentic.

And if you want me to love you, then this is what I need from you.

Don’t just give me flowers. Give me seeds that we can plant and nurture. Give me something we can dig deep into and watch blossom together.

Don’t just tell me I’m pretty. Tell me that you see my soul and then show me yours. Tell me you see the beauty in our shadows.

Don’t just try to sleep with me. Try to get to know the dreams that are fused into the mattress and the things that keep me up at night. Try to undress my heart before you undress me.

Don’t just say what I want to hear. Say the things that scare you to speak out loud. Say the things that’ll break the walls we’ve been boarding up for far too long.

Don’t just pretend things are perfect. Pretend that we live in a world without judgment and show me your imperfections. Pretend it’s just you and me, living freely.

Don’t just agree with me. Agree to challenge me, grow with me, and bust through old boundaries. Agree to learn from each other even when it’s hard.

Don’t just appease me. Please me by holding my soul in your palms and my name on your tongue. Please me by hearing what I really need between sheets and fantasies.

Don’t just show me your best self. Show me your true self. Show me the person you are when life gets hard, when days are long, and when broken hearts beat the odds.

Don’t just take me on dates. Take me to your past on our way to a real future. Take me to the edge of your comfort zone and over the parts of the world once fenced with fear.

Don’t just fall for me. Fall with me, so we learn how to rise together. Fall hard, but don’t fall fast. Let us take our time in falling in love.

Don’t just love me, be vulnerable with me.

This is the type of love I need, the type of love I want, and the type of love I know I will one day find.

I’m not even really searching for love, but if I was…