Forgiveness can be complicated sometimes. For some of us, it’s not always an easy thing to do and can feel downright difficult to move forward with, but I’ve learned that it’s necessary to do if and when you want to free yourself from the feelings of hurt and pain you may have been holding close for far too long now. When someone hurts you, it might be difficult for you to forgive them. Trust them or like them. Maybe even love them again. But if you want to be free, why not choose forgiveness? I know it won’t be easy, but it’s at least worth giving a shot.
Sometimes the people who have hurt us have said or done things that feel and seem unforgivable, but if we want to move on and move forward with our lives, forgiveness can be a good way to go. Years ago, I once had some good friends of mine betray my trust. They did different things that hurt and humiliated me and showed little to no remorse after they did them. Yet I still valued those friendships and wanted to make things work. But in the process, I silently grew resentful while somehow managing to maintain a front that things between us were cool.
Eventually, we all ended up falling out of touch for a while, and when I got time away from them and thought about some of the painful things they’d said and done, I got irritated. During our time apart, a lot of things ran through my mind. Why are we friends? Why have we stayed friends this long? How could they do those things they did to me? And when I heard from one of them out of nowhere one day, I decided I didn’t care to maintain those friendships anymore. We ended up falling out after exchanging some passive-aggressive text messages, and when I ended up hearing from that same friend again, something hit me. You need to forgive them. You’re not perfect, and you’ve made mistakes too. Try putting yourself in their shoes. Wouldn’t you want forgiveness?
Even though I was hurt, I not only needed to be a better communicator, but I also needed to forgive my friends. After all, I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes at different times in my life too. We all have. So, after reconnecting, I chose to forgive them and work on rebuilding those relationships. I let the past hurts go and moved on. I know that forgiving my friends was a choice and that my situation may differ from yours, depending on who hurt you, what was done, and everything that transpired, as every situation is different, but if there’s someone in your life you’re struggling to forgive, especially if they hurt you, I hope you will do your best to try and forgive them. Also know you are not required to reconnect with anyone you choose to forgive, as forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation. The person you may be forgiving may not be safe to reconnect with anymore, so by all means, protect your space and boundaries if and as needed. But you owe it to yourself to be free and live your life without harboring any unforgiveness.
