I Will Not Be Your Second Choice

If you want me in your life, you’re going to have to make me a priority. I’m not going to let you walk in and out of mine and just hit me up whenever you feel like it, or only when it’s a convenient time for you. I can’t let you think treating me that way is okay. It’s not. And I deserve better than that. I’m not going to be anyone’s doormat, just-in-case person, or afterthought. And I’m not going to fight, chase, or beg for space.

I deserve the best. So I’m definitely not going to be your second choice.

I’ve been treated second far too many times, and I’ve had enough. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I don’t like giving to people who keep on taking and taking and giving little to nothing in return. And I don’t like being taken for granted. I know everything’s not about me, but I shouldn’t have to ask, wait, or hope for space in your life. That’s not right and it’s not fair. You don’t treat the other people and things you put in front of me that way, but you expect me to be on standby. That’s not going to happen.

But you know what? Even if I’m not your first choice, I’ll meet someone who makes me theirs. They’ll choose me first and will value and appreciate me. They’ll give as much as I give. They’ll like me for me without any ulterior motives. They’ll keep their word and do the things they said they would do. They’ll be kind and considerate and step up and treat me with respect. They won’t play games or take me for granted or mistake my kindness for weakness. They’re going to show up for me, and you’ll be a distant memory—just someone I used to know. A reminder that I thought less of myself and thought I couldn’t do any better when I thought it was okay for someone like you to treat me the way I allowed you to.

I will not be your second choice.

I’m not the kind of girl who just takes what she can get. I’m the type who will hold out and get exactly what I want. I knew I shouldn’t have given you another chance. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve met you before and all the signs were there. I should’ve known better. And I can find better and do better too. I can’t let people like you have or hold a space in my life. And you definitely can’t have any more of my time. It’s far too valuable to just give away. I’m not selfish or self-centered or spoiled or being unreasonable for wanting to be considered and put first. I just know my value and my worth and can’t keep short-changing myself. Not for you or anyone else. I refuse to live in that space and put myself in that position.

About the author

Simone Heard

Writer. Storyteller. Unconventional Believer.