Love is definitely a word used often with strong meaning. There are many ways that love can exist. You can either love someone because you care for them or you can be IN love with someone because you can picture yourself with that one person only. In our society, the norm is that you can love many, but be in love with only one.. At a time anyways.
But what does ‘love’ in general even mean? How do you know whether you love an individual or are actually in love with them? For starters, when you love someone, you should be satisfied in knowing that they are living well without you. And that’s okay because at the end of the day, you only care for their happiness anyways.
But when you’re in love with someone, just the idea of not being able to be with that particular person is devastating. This person should make you feel as if there is no one else made for you other than them. You should feel incomplete without them because they make you want to be better each and every day. Regardless, whether you love or are in love, you want the best for that person and you are willing to do anything to make it happen.
However, as the generation has progressed, the definition of love has downgraded. We use the word “love” so often because it saves us the trouble of having to figure out what we’re actually feeling. Our society is so obsessed over the subject of falling in love and having a happy ending with the perfect soulmate that we are willing to test ourselves, our partners, and our relationship. We put each other through our worst because we are willing to try to make the love we have last. But sometimes, it’s just not possible. If you’re losing yourself than maybe you’re not meant to be with each other, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t love or care for one another.
It’s okay to let go and be happy. No, it’s not easy, but it’s definitely not worth putting yourself through hell with someone you’re just not destined to be.
So how do you know when it’s time to stop trying and let your partner go?
1. The first rule in a relationship should be trust. It’s the glue that holds couples together. But once you start to question your partner’s priorities, than the communication between the two of you will start to fade.
2. You can’t resolve conflicts. If the two of you cannot agree upon anything or work your problems through compromise, than you are going to be absolutely miserable with each other. Your problems will only increase, rather than decrease.
3. Your interests don’t interest each other. The more hobbies and activities you both enjoy, the stronger your relationship will be.
4. The pet peeves are only piling up. There’s a theory that when you start to dislike someone, everything they do will start to annoy you. I completely agree with this. If your happiness is starting to dissolve, then the things that never used to bother you about your partner will eat you alive.
5. You just don’t feel fully supported. Like I mentioned earlier, when you’re in love, your partner should be lifting you up when you’re down and motivating you to become the best you can be. But if your partner seems uninterested in your ambitions and goals and displays the “me first” attitude, then you’re probably never going to feel your worth in this relationship anyways.
6. And speaking of goals and ambitions, if one of you completely differ in your life mission, than you will face many obstacles in your life that are just not worth the fight to be together.
7. The two of you differ on the different aspects of life. If you have significantly different perspectives on social issues, religion, politics, parenting, environmentalism, and use of finances, it’s best to find a partner whose convictions more closely align with your own.
8. You or your partner are holding on too tightly to your past. If you find yourself reconciling over your ex, then its possible that you may have not moved on completely.
9. You notice wandering eyes. If you or your partner start to gaze and admire other people, then it may be because you feel something significant is lacking in your relationship. And finally, number 10: You don’t feel free to be yourself. This is the main reason people start to lose themselves in a relationship. If you see yourself changing your personality, priorities, and beliefs for your relationship, then your partner is not in a relationship with YOU.
Love isn’t found when you’re constantly looking for it. My philosophy is, learn to love yourself before you love someone else. Because if you don’t know where you stand in life, then you won’t ever know where you stand with your significant other. So get to know yourself before attempting to love someone else. Spend time with yourself, talk to yourself about your feelings, form opinions and goals and stick to them. You’re born into this world to be YOU so be happy with your life!