The Unedited Truth About What Guys Really Mean When They Say ‘Goodbye’

Priscilla Westra
Priscilla Westra

I’m not sure, but girls have a different interpretation of goodbyes or rather not saying goodbyes with how guys do it.

For us, it doesn’t matter if we say bye, see you, asta-la-vista-baby, pump our fist while walking the other way in slow motion or just plain evaporate out of sight. However, girls get all formal and nice, performing the whole thank you-see-you-later-let’s-catch-up-soon-kiss-kiss-hug-hug routine.

It’s not that guys are rude; we are just genetically and socially imbued to show our feelings less. Our innate emotional clumsiness to say goodbye is more primitive than how girls do it.

We do care; we just have a different way of showing it.

Saying “catch you later” while holding back tears and punching a door, counts as one. A fist bump means a good job! A complicated handshake is a norm for best buds. A high five for a more casual gesture of greeting and goodbye, while, a brother-bear-hug is just letting loose a cannon of emotions.

May it be a long or short, familial or romantic, indefinite or the worst – a permanent goodbye, we dread for it. I’m not qualified to speak for all the guys even if it is possible, (I don’t know if someone is qualified for that) it’s difficult to utter “the” parting words, maybe that’s why we don’t say it.

The premise of a goodbye seems so final. It’s too painful to fall in that final separation without having the comfort of a safety net.

The cause of all this drama is because it seems so irrevocable to our one track mind. Of course, there is something lying much deeper. Saying goodbye is like saying I love you, (there I said it) you can’t have one and deny the other. For most, avoiding it like a plague seems the best course of action, denying the painful undertone of the word “goodbye” feels like a good choice, but avoiding it is fruitless.

In life, moving on is a major part. We love the people we get to know; we indulge ourselves on the little things and, enjoy it. Nevertheless, people grow, things change, and time does not stop. It’s a cycle we are all familiar with. We’ll eventually bid farewell to everything we love, it will come appealing in time. Even knowing that, we still hold tight to our protective gear, not letting go and not accepting its presence. Not until we understand the beauty of overcoming the fear of inevitable pain has its own magnificence.

Life is full of goodbyes; does that mean it is full of love also? I wish it is.

I have said goodbye to people I thought who’ll always be there, to promises and many times to sugary sweets, but still I come back for more. There is no shame in loving; there is just a matter breaking down the walls people keep stacking, and picking up the pieces when they say goodbye. And until then, we’ll opt with our casual goodbyes until we learn that pain is not only suffering, but can also have love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A random guy with a bagel.

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