A Thank You To My Inner Circle

When you find yourself in a time of need, where you have to take a lot and give nearly nothing back, I hope you find yourself in a circle as strong and dedicated as mine.

We don’t always appreciate those around us that are willing to step up or are willing to help us fight when we can barely lift our heads. Though we are aware of the value these people hold, otherwise we wouldn’t surround ourselves with them in the first place, we don’t always take the time to truly see them for the beaming lights they are.

I’ve been pretty intensely drowning in my emotional lake lately. Though I know I’ll make it through, and though much progress has been made, there is no earthly way this could have happened without my family and friends. ‘Family and friends’ seems such cliché a term for those in my corner. These people are gods in their own right, they are people that push you and make you think, they are people that hear the ugliest things you say and stick around regardless.

For me, my people come in many forms:

There are the fortresses– these folks will not let me put my head down. They march me along and help me build practical yet strong walls so I guard myself without shutting people out. They remind me of the deeply grounded strength that we all have inside us, and try and help me to find mine again and hold tight. They are not angry by any means, but they are strong. Strong as hell and nothing will break them and they remind me that nothing will break me. Not anymore.

There are the warriors– these people will annihilate anything in my path. They look out for danger coming from any angle and will strike it down. They might also be the harshest with their words, but only because they know I can handle it. They will fight for me no matter what. And god I would not want to be the enemy in their path.

There are the empaths– those that see inside my soul better than I ever have. These people have healing water for words; they ease the ache haunting the innermost parts of me. In some strange way, this might be the best place to go for a reality check when you are feeling particularly sensitive, as they are honest but it’s so poetic you won’t notice if it’s harsh. To me, it’s strangely beautiful. These people have an artist’s touch on what my mind needs to hear.

There are the ones who share the pain– those that have literally been where I’ve been and have made it out alive. Maybe they are a few weeks, a few months, a few years ahead- but they made it out and that’s what inspires me. I cling tightest to my people in this category, because I need them the most right now. I need to know that I’ll be okay, and not just okay but perfectly fine, and not just perfectly fine but better than before.

There are the unexpected heroes– those that rise to the occasion that I wouldn’t have originally thought would want to. These people flit in and out, and maybe aren’t as constant as some others, but they are consistent in how great they are and the things they are willing to do. These people stand up for me, they cheer for me, and they help to alleviate some pain and add in some laughter.

There are so many people who have been angels over the last few months. They stick with me and love on me and surround me so tightly that I never feel alone. I wish I had better words to describe just how amazing you all are. Just how amazing you’ve been to me, and the difference it has made. But I thank you for your time, your love, and the immense amount of inner reconciliation it has helped me do.

Once I heal up a bit, once I feel more full, I hope you all know I want to be all of these things and more for you. But I appreciate the patience and grace in the meantime.

I hope you have people like this in your life. And if perhaps you don’t, I would encourage you to try and be one or all of these people for those in your life. You won’t regret it.