How To Know When The Feelings Aren’t Mutual And It’s Time To Let Go

John Sting

Trust me, you know.

I think it’s something you always know, too. Something you’ve carried since the moment you met; an understanding that it wasn’t quite right, wasn’t quite what it could have been. But you pushed for it anyway because you had hope, you had love. You think that is all that you needed.

Turns out you need much more.

You need someone who will look at you the way you look at them. You need someone who sees everything in the world and can somehow tie it back to you. Someone who gets the space that you will need – but also gets that you want them around sometimes, if just to be near each other. Someone who loves all your little quirks even when they can’t stand them. Someone who believes you to be capable of anything you try your hand at.

It’s difficult when you truly believe some is ‘it’. They are everything you want. But it isn’t right. You aren’t that for them and that’s okay. You have to accept that destiny is not always mutual, as much as you might want it to be.

You can still love this person, sure, as hard as you want. But you have to transform that love into something you experience from a distance. This love can have no bitterness toward the fact that it is unrequited; it can only have hope and kindness for that individual and the future that you inevitably won’t be a part of.

You don’t have to let them go immediately, not yet. But you do have to allow yourself to grow apart from them. Frankly, you have to buck up and give yourself the room to become yourself without their influence.

Don’t take this the wrong way – but this will not bother them. I hate to say this, but really it’s true, they don’t care enough to stop you from moving on. This isn’t to say that they don’t care at all, or never did, but it isn’t near enough to stop you from distancing yourself.

This is a good thing. You need this indifference toward your feelings in order to become who you deserve to be. You know how to love someone, or even if you don’t you at least know you are capable of getting there. Perhaps this distance will give you a chance to work some things out for yourself. Nobody is perfect and maybe a little self-reflection could do you some good, too.

Being alone is not a bad thing and neither is moving on from someone even when you don’t want to. These situations are opportunities for much better things, much better people, and much better versions of you. Be happy when these chances to grow present themselves, they are almost always blessings in disguise. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Shelby Sever

Good person, messy eater, notorious plant killer.

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