This is the thing we all seek, the answers we all believe we deserve, the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
You got what you need! They told you not necessarily what you wanted to hear, but at least you finally got the truth. It’s everything you wanted and more, the freedom to move on. The knowledge that you weren’t making things up the whole time, that your feelings are valid and you do matter.
However, now that you sit wrapped in this incredible closure you realize: nothing has changed. Just because you have knowledge doesn’t mean anything will happen because of it.
Life will be the same.
See, this is the confusion with closure. Whether you get it the moment you need it or eight years after that, you think it’s the end of the ride. You believe once you reach this closure that magically some incredible door will open and you’ll walk through into your brand new knowledge-filled existence.
Let me tell you one thing; closure won’t immediately fix anything. What it does do is clear the air and give you a clean slate.
Now is the time for you to stretch those independent legs of yours and move the fuck on. Now is the time to figure out what YOU want solely based on YOUR feelings. You don’t have to sit and pretend to involve the other person, because they’ve told you everything you need to know. There are no more what ifs; no more inner dialogues with this person, no more any of it.
It’s just you now, kid.
This is your chance and you better grab it. Everything doesn’t have to derive from that situation anymore; people don’t have to be compared to them anymore. Situations and interactions and memories are now yours to control. Paint your world with bright colors; don’t darken it with questions and muddled conversations and memories that you probably fabricated a little bit anyway. Move on and move up.
Closure is simply one step in the process of moving on. It shouldn’t be the only thing you reach for, it should be a bridge to get you to a better side.
However, you should try and get it. Closure is incredibly hard to achieve but awesome to hold. It doesn’t cause those locked doors to open, but it might give you the key. Don’t sit there and expect it to change anything, that’s your job.
Let closure be what it is, an assistant in moving on. Closure should cause you to see what an incredible person you are, all by yourself. It allows you to really see who you are without any of that other bullshit. Give your new self a good hard look and see if you like it. See if you want to change anything, and think about why.
Grab that closure, walk over that bridge, and be better.