23 Hotel Employees Reveal Their Craziest Story

This weekend I was given the incredible opportunity to visit LA for the first time. After eating breakfast at The Beverly Hills Hotel, and drinking a seventeen dollar mimosa, I started to wonder about all the insane shit that must happen in hotels, and to those who work in them.

Pulled from AskReddit
Screen shot 2014-02-28 at 2.38.58 AM
Photograph by Shawn Binder

1. Salad Fetish

As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last 8 years the craziest thing i ever found was an old battered notebook with “Why i love salad” written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing. There’d be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years.

2. Basketball Poop Party

Well..

-checked empty room left with doors wide open, on table was brown bag with over $20000 cash

-tried to wake a guy up to checkout, but he was dead

-basketball team used a toilet for communal poops, no flushing. All weekend. The entire toilet was encased in a mountain of poop. They must have had to stand on the ledge of the sink and lean over. Or straddle one foot on the bathtub and somehow not fall into it. It took devotion. Horrible and wtf at the same time.

3. Hidden Friend

There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week and he always requested the same room. We thought he was maybe making drug deals or something so we searched the room after he checked out one day.

Turns out he was hiding a blowup doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I kinda felt bad for him.

4. Hidden Porn Stash

When I started working at this hotel it was under bad management. So things like proper cleanings didn’t happen, and why guests would often check in to the same room every week.

One guy came in every week of two, used the same room for three or four hours and would leave. We didn’t do hourly rates, so he always paid the full price if the room. No one ever accompanied him, no one asked for his room while he was there. The next day maids would find nothing unusual.

After a new manager came in, the hotel got its first through cleaning in way too long. So we’re going through and moving beds and credenzas, checking ceiling tiles ect. We get to the same room he’s been using. Under the bed we find a massive porn stash. Movies, magazines and lube. Everything is sticky and obviously used. The maids used double gloves to dispose of everything.

5. Surprise Pussy

Cats. Cats everywhere. And a $100 tip with a not that said, “thanks for taking care of these guys, be back in a week.”

She didn’t come back

6. Swingers Party

We had a swingers group stay at the hotel for a few nights. They had a rave going on up on the second floor, there were naked people everywhere on the floors, kids were freaked out by it, other guests were complaining. On top of that, families could hear the couples running from rooms and constantly fucking.

7. Pregnancy Scare

One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window.

8. Bloody Mess

My employer is not a hotel but an online hotel booking website. We have been contacted by a hotel before who was “complaining” about a guest.

The guests were found unconscious, on the balcony, completely covered in blood, naked, with a knife. The room was an absolute horror show.

The hotel provided pictures as proof. http://imgur.com/a/0Dpy7

9. Pig Sty 

A man was having his house deloused and deep cleaned and wound up staying at the local Marriott that I worked for at the time. He was there for something like 30 days or so, drunk off his ass and high on something the entire time. He never once let housekeeping in. After his departure, the cleaning staff finally entered the room. They were horrified not only by the stench of the place, but also by the utter wreck he left behind. Basically every single piece of furniture was severely damaged, the floors stained and greasy, the linens too far gone for further use, and rotten food everywhere. It took a week to get the room back in rotation. No wonder it took a month to get his house cleaned up and free of vermin.

10. Wheel Of Fortune Love

We had an elderly (70s) couple stay with us once who were the absolute best. We offered a complimentary dinner around 6 p.m., and the wife had come over to the front desk and brought me a plate of dinner, saying “You’re far too skinny to get any girls, young man.” I thanked her and ate it, while her husband walked up, gave her a leash, and she left to go walk the dog outside while her husband and I talked about what they were doing in my neck of the woods. They go back to their rooms about half an hour later, and I go about my business. Around 8:30, he calls down crying, saying his wife won’t wake up. I go up there, calling 911, but I found that she had passed away, sleeping on his shoulder, while they were watching Wheel of Fortune. I wept like a girl that night, and kept him company while he tried to call his children, who weren’t picking up their phones.

11. Mayo Madness

Not me, but a mate of mine worked at an Ibis in Sydney (cheapish hotel brand in Australia, unsure where else) as a temp cleaner. Not really disgusting or weird, but the residents had decided to cover the floor in the bathroom with mayonnaise, and the same with the mirrors.

12. Needles On Needles

I was a front desk agent while I’m college. One of the house keepers discovered a giant jug of lube, a 2 headed black dildo, and an assortment of bloody needles left scattered about the room.

13. A Hostage Situation 

Not at my hotel, but one a friend of mine was managing a few years ago: A hostage. Guy and girl meet a drug dealer at his hotel room. They guy didn’t have enough money or something. So the dealer tells him to go get it while the girl waits with him in the room. Apparently the guy bailed and ditched his girlfriend with the scumbag drug dealer. When it became clear that the guy was not going to come back, the drug dealer spent a few hours raping the girl. Security went to the room because of several noise complaints. The security guy knocked on the door and heard someone start yelling for help. He called for back up. While security was calling the cops the drug dealer fled the scene. When the police showed up they found some drugs, a big bag of sex toys, a gun in the room and a severely battered and traumatized woman.

14. Abraham Lincoln Goat

A goat dressed like Abraham Lincoln.

There’s no more story here, at least none that I know. Working as a cleaner in a hotel, went to clean a guest’s room, dreading it since they’d been there for a stag do, found the goat. Don’t know how it got there, or how it was removed, but it made a good story for a while.

15. Upside Down

I was working at a luxury hotel and we had a fairly big name band staying with us. There were no noise complaints, and they seemed to be perfect tenants. When they left and we went to clean the room, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of furniture was nailed to the ceiling in roughly the same configuration that it was in on the floor. I found it to be quite amusing. Management didn’t.

16. Cum Glasses

I worked in a hotel in Torbay, which is essentially the number 1 holiday destination for elderly people in Britain.

We had a blind man (he will be called John for the story) who would stay with us at least once a month. So John obviously being blind would always need help to and from his room and me being the head porter I would always go and help him (he was generous with tips)

One day it’s about 6pm and it’s dinner time so, knowing John will need help I go up to his room to assist him. I had known John for a long time and he would always know when I would be coming up and would leave his door unlocked for us (porters) to save him walking to the door to open it and find his way through the room

So I go up to his room as always but this time John wasn’t quite ready and was midway through one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen.

He had a plastic bag filled with vaseline which he fashioned in to a fleshlight, he had music blaring out from his radio and he was wearing a bra and fishnet stocking. I walked in to the room with my normal friendly manner but the music was so loud he didn’t hear the door open and carried on horrified. I left the room and waited for a while laughing and crying at the sight I had just seen until I heard the music stop playing which was when I knocked on the door to ask if he needed some help.

John invited me in after a minute or 2 saying he was just getting changed in to some more comfortable clothes but as I walked in I saw the bra on the floor and the fishnets stuffed in a plastic bag.

As if this wasn’t enough as I was walking him down I noticed on his tinted glasses he had got some of his cum on the lens.

17. The Worst Smell

This couple stayed in one of our rooms for a week, they would just ask if we would put fresh linens and towels by the door and that they would take any trash to the dumpster. So after their week of being there, and none of our housekeepers had been in that room for a week, one of them opened the door…The first thing was the smell, it made our head housekeeper puke and she had to run away, they had shit all over the walls and rubbed it in. They shit on the floor, television, beds, air conditioning system, and even clogged up the shower with shit. We’re thinking they must have had a party of people just shitting in this room. It was so bad that we had to evacuate the hotel (ask everyone to leave and pay for them to go to another hotel), call the cops, call a hazmat cleanup crew and it took a week and a half to clean this room.

18. Shit To Death

Weirdest thing I ever found was a dead woman. She was anorexic and had taken too many laxatives. Her body was halfway to the bathroom, and there was a…trail…from the bed to her body. That was also the day I learned that apparently you can shit to death.

19. Fishy Lamp

My family is in the hotel business. One day a particular room just started to stink to high hell for no apparent reason. We checked everywhere multiple times looking for the source of the scent, no dice. We sprayed everythingin the room numerous times with deodorizer to no avail. Left the room open daily for months to air it out without any change.

Finally, we somehow tracked the smell to the table lamp. We were dumbfounded, asking ourselves how it could be emanating from there. Son of a bitch had broken the thing, put a fish in it, and glued it back together. My brother and I died laughing and actually applauded this guy’s ingenuity. He got us good, and I ain’t even mad at that.

20. Special Pizza Topping

I worked hotel security years ago. I was working third shift during a convention one night, when I got on one of the elevators while doing a routine check of the building. The doors of the elevator opened up, and there in the middle of the floor was a pizza box. Something about that seemed a bit off, so I opened the box by stepping on a flap with one foot while flipping the lid open with the other. Inside were two huge human turds studded with dozens of toothpicks.

21. Sexy Pictures

I was cleaning a room and found some photos stuck in the mirror. They were photos of a man. I took them down and put them on my cart to put in the lost & found. I continued cleaning. The room was trashed. There were tons of empty condom wrappers around the room & boxes of lube, etc.

I clean the gross room and go about my business. Somewhere along the line, the pictures must have accidentally gone in my trash. Awhile later, my supervisor called me to the office and asked if I found any photos in that one specific room because the lady called freaking out because they were photos of her husband, who died.

I get being sentimental. But why would you be having your sexcapades in a hotel with photos of your dead husband pinned into all the mirrors to watch?? I had to go dumpster diving to find the trashbag and get the photos for the lady.

22. Penis Confetti

I don’t work at a hotel, but one time I got to stay in a really nice hotel room with a jacuzzi in it. The moment I turned on the jets to the jacuzzi, penis-shaped confetti came out of them.

23. SACRIFICIAL Lamb

Found this in a New Orleans hotel room.

Yea that’s a blowup doll with a blowup lamb taped to his “junk”. TC Mark

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