How They Dress
Sure, he may not be the next Tom Ford model but it is important to remember that no matter how someone chooses to express themselves through their clothing, it really is what is in their hearts and minds trumps all. Boyfriends are better naked anyways. That is how we like them- repeat and remember.
So your boyfriend is super into stuffing taxidermied squirrels but you actually want him to be into baseball? Time to find a new boyfriend? If something as banal as passion not being directed in what you deem is the, “proper” way, then it is about time you re-evaluate your priorities. As long as your man is passionate about something that is other than getting a high score on Call of Duty, then you should allow him to do as he pleases.
If They Cry
The dark secret that the media wishes to keep from you: men cry. A lot. I cry at a truly touching Hallmark commercials and when someone close to me has a really awesome personal victory. If you find it, “weak” or “unmanly,” it is time to go sit in the corner and think about your choices. Whenever someone shows their visceral emotions such as overwhelming sadness, you should see it as a good thing that they’re comfortable enough to let you see them in that vulnerable state. Boyfriends like snacks and hugs when they cry. Provide those instead of scrutiny.
Their Family Situation
I don’t care who you are, everyone’s family is dysfunctional on some level. You can’t expect your boyfriend to call his mom every day if they’re just not as close as you and your parents are. Similarly, if you can’t understand how important it is for your man to spend holidays and weekends away visiting his family and little brother, it may be time to learn. Everyone’s family dynamic is different and the sooner you stop seeing his family through the scope of your own, the happier you will both be.
Their Economic Situation
If you want a man who can take you to five course meals every week but in reality your boyfriend can only pay for Taco Bell drive thru once in a blue moon, then that won’t be conducive to a happy relationship. Certain men feel this unease to provide for their partners because that is what society has ingrained in their brains. Let your man feel good about the amount of money he makes. Make him feel like a night in watching movies with a $5 frozen pizza is enough to keep the romance alive, because it should be. As long as he isn’t frivolously spending his cash on weed and beer when he can’t afford his rent, let him be.
Their Taste In Music
Even if you hate country music, let him play it occasionally in the car because it makes me smile and sing along. The worst type of people are the ones who actively judge others for their preference in music. Don’t be that type of relationship partner.
Their Facial Hair
Their body, their choice. If you don’t want to kiss them when they have a full-on beard, then write love letters and stick them in his wiry mess. Everyone wants to feel like they have complete autonomy over their body. Allow your man the right to his and his smelly facial hair. Similarly, if your man is unable to grow a thriving beard, be gentle about it. Men are sensitive about their ability to produce such rugged looks out of their facial follicles and therefore this topic should be a non sequitur.
I would like to take this moment to put this issue to bed (heh). Whether your boyfriend has a cut or uncut dick should not be a point of contention. Do you realize how excruciatingly painful it probably is to get a circumcision? If it truly bothers you whether or not your boyfriends cut or uncut, then you’re probably not mature enough to be having sex anyways and should stop.
Their Close Friends
You don’t have to become ultra chummy with the people your boyfriend chooses to spend his time with. But, if you see it working in longer terms, then you need to trust him on some level that he has perfectly crafted his friend group. Yes, even the friend who is always high and likes to side-eye the shit out you; he’s there for a reason. The time will eventually come for him to trim what I playfully deem, “the friend dead weight,” and you constantly ragging on who he whiles away the hours with will only put pressure on him, not results.
The Type Of Love They Are Willing To Offer You
If you’re unsatisfied in any aspect of your relationship and it is not something that can be resolved through talking like the adults we desperately hope to be treated by, it may be time to look elsewhere for love. If you know your boyfriend is stoic and won’t be beating down your door on Valentine’s Day morning with three dozen carnations and a singing telegraph of, “Love On Top,”– don’t get angry at him when he doesn’t. It is easy for us to project what we see in the male protagonist in every Rachel McAdams’ movies onto the ones we attempt to love. Adore him for the quirky man he is and the unique type of love he offers. Find someone else if that he truly can’t or won’t provide what will make your heart feel full and warm.
Their Netflix, “Recently Watched,” History
If your boyfriend wants to watch marathons of Extreme Cheapskates and Aquamarine then let him do his thing. Boyfriends tend to retreat when ostracized for what tickles their television viewing fancy. Make your relationship a Netflix Judgement-Free-Zone or risk losing your password privileges. We both know only one person in a couple needs to be paying for an instant streaming subscription.