1. It smells like crap, they have no local cuisine to speak of.
Colorado lamb anyone?
2. The people are lazy as hell.
3. The weather? What weather. There’s no such thing as weather in Colorado.
4. Pot? What? There’s no such thing as ‘pot’ here.
5. Trees? What are you talking about?
6. There’s no rivers here.
7. Not even mountains. Nope.
8. Houses? Forget about it.
9. Seriously, forget about them.
10. What did I tell you? Forget about the houses.
11. Outdoor activities? There’s no such thing like that in Colorado.
12. Colorado is full. Like, there’s no place for any more people.