Dear Movie Industry: Here’s How To Write The Perfect Rom Com

So, you dream of penning the ultimate cinematic love letter. The one true tribute to melt hearts and make everyone believe that love conquers all.

Okay, that’s great – but how do you go about doing this? How do you write the best romantic comedy the world has ever seen? 

Look, the good news is you don’t need to sell your soul to a rom-com devil or anything (though Loveebus sounds like a cool name for a love demon, doesn’t it?). It’s a lot easier than that, so grab a notepad, click the pen, take a sip of water to calm the nerves, and take notes, because you’re about to receive all the answers here.

Step 1: Set your movie in a big city

Why do most romantic comedies take place in cities like New York or Los Angeles? It’s because of the symbolism. In these places, it’s all about the hustle and bustle. No one stops for a moment, since they’re always grinding or moving to the next location. There are millions of people around you, but you see no one, because you’re lost in this world – you’re the center of your own busy bee universe.

So, when a stranger bumps into you, it turns your world upside down. It’s serendipitous. It’s fate. Why did this unexpected person, among millions of other people, come into your world now out of all days? It must have been Loveebus working in mysterious ways. Okay, okay… I’ll stop mentioning the love demon. For now.

Step 2: One person needs to be seeing or infatuated with someone else

Hey. I don’t write the rules here, but every rom-com needs some kind of love triangle at play. It’s about wanting the unattainable. Whether it be that the protagonist is engaged or eyeing someone else in their life, or even that the perfect stranger might be committed to another, a romantic comedy needs to ruin at least one household or life – all in the name of love, of course. 

It’s all about creating the star-crossed lovers appeal. Everyone senses and sees the magic between these two people – regardless of other partners who always get painted out as narcissistic or villainous – but they fight their initial desire to be together. Oh, woe, you miserable tree, how unfair of thee! In Loveebus’ case, this pesky imp wants to see people together, but his devilish side can’t help but cheer to see a few broken hearts in the process.

Step 3: It’s perfect until it’s not

So, let’s recap here for a second: Two strangers meet. They fall in love, but there are obstacles – namely, other people – in their path. What’s next? Despite fighting the urge to be together, they eventually give in to the power of love. Whether it’s one person who plans to proclaim their love for the other, or they actually get together as a couple for the first time through a kiss or night together, this gears up to a dramatic moment in a romantic comedy. Why? Because this is where it all falls apart and hearts break. This is a false start of a new tomorrow.

Nothing goes as planned here. Inevitably, it leaves the couple questioning if they have made a mistake and followed their hearts instead of their heads. They care for each other, hence why it hurts, but the dream romance isn’t quite the dream they imagined. And it looks to be over between them. Loveebus weeps.

Step 4: They risk it all to become a romantic comedy couple

Now, after all the crying and tubs of chocolate-flavored ice cream (because only heathens eat anything with nuts or peppermint), a realization occurs: Maybe the couple can still be together in the end! Even though the film spent the past 10-plus minutes telling us why it isn’t a good idea, who cares about logic or reason in screenwriting when it comes to matters of the heart, right?

It’s all as simple as the couple can’t bear to go on without each other. They realize that even if it’s difficult, they will make it work. Heck, who cares about the non-refundable, luxurious wedding venue in the Upper East Side when one heart beats for another! Dramatically, and applying the worst possible timing ever, one person races to the other to declare their undying love. Loveebus smiles with the rest of us, passes the tissues around to wipe away the happy tears, and everyone cheers as the pair share a kiss and the scene transitions into the future where they are now the perfect romantic comedy couple. And cut to credits!