How To Survive A Teen Drama TV Show
Forget haunted houses. Forget swamp monsters. Forget the zombie apocalypse. The scariest thing you’ll ever encounter in life is the teen drama show.
Only the strongest survive in a world where betrayal, tragedy, and broken hearts are just another Tuesday. Now, let’s say the unimaginable happens and you find yourself trapped in Tree Hill or Stars Hollow – what’s your plan to live to see another day? Don’t worry – we have the only survivor’s guide you’ll ever need to last in a teen drama show, so read on for all the tips!
Avoid romances with people in your high school
Honestly, this is a no-brainer. Every single teen drama show features a romance – or love triangle, quadrangle, or whatever – between people at the same school. And isn’t it funny how it’s always matters of the heart that lead to the biggest conflict and dispute between human beings? So, yeah, rather than date people from the same school as you, look outward. Expand the horizon. Maybe try long-distance dating or see someone from a neighboring town. Whatever you do, do not get sucked into relationships within the same friendship circles or school. Sure, the purest of these romances might last in the end, but dang, the drama is a lot to handle until then.
Don’t keep anything in your locker
High school lockers are meant to be practical. They’re safe storage spaces for people to keep their books or belongings in, so they don’t need to lug everything around like a turtle with its home on its back. Here’s the thing: They aren’t safe in teen drama shows. Not at all. No, lockers are places where bullies corner you, other students defame you, or people steal personal belongings to expose your deepest, darkest secrets to the world. Be a step ahead of the nefarious pack: Do not use your locker at all. Then, if they hang around your locker – and there’s nothing there – they just look like creeps lurking around the halls in a pointless fashion.
Prepare for your best friend’s betrayal
Sorry, but this is the truth. Friends in teen drama shows are the shallowest people you’ll ever have the displeasure of meeting. You know the phrase: Reason, season, or lifetime? These pals are almost always seasonal. Generally, you have to pick the best of a bad bunch, so don’t be shocked when they stab you in the back. If you want to hold an advantage over them – or let’s say an insurance policy – record all the conversations between you and them, then blackmail them if they ever get out of line. Hey, it’s devious to do, but it might make them think twice before crossing you again.
Take public transport
Have you ever noticed how there’s at least one serious car accident in each season of One Tree Hill? Heck, Marissa Cooper even died after a big crash in The O.C. So, what does this teach us? Simple: Do not travel in cars in a teen drama show. Whether it’s somebody else driving the car, or you driving yourself, don’t do it. Instead, take public transport – like a bus. No one ever sees a bus crash in these series. Maybe a writer might watch Speed one day and attempt to incorporate a similar storyline into a show, but until then, you’re safe and sound on a bus while everyone else ends up in ICU.
Invest in a detective course
In every single teen drama show – seriously, every single one of them – there’s a major mystery or whodunit. From finding out the identity of the serial killer on the loose (Riverdale) to discovering who stole the exam papers (One Tree Hill), teens need to work together to solve a big case, because the police and authority figures are entirely useless here. Now, if this is a given, why waste your time and spend an entire story arc chasing your tail when a detective course helps you solve the case quicker? Alternatively, if you’re on a budget, watch a few episodes of Mindhunter.
Homeschooling works
In nearly every single teen drama, the nonsense originates out of the high school grounds. It’s the toxic romances, bored friends stirring up drama, the squabbles surrounding the sports teams, the horrendous teachers… You get the picture. So, why go through all of this when the homeschooling option exists? Seriously, you get to sleep in, wear comfortable clothing (including no pants) all the time, eat food you like, and you don’t have to deal with insufferable people. This isn’t just homeschooling; it’s the dream. Plus, it’s a case of out of sight, out of mind. No one is going to start trouble with you if they don’t know you exist.
