Celebrating the Hottest Quotes From ‘Jennifer’s Body’ 15 Years Later

It’s wild to think that 15 years have passed since Karyn Kusama’s Jennifer’s Body hit theaters, delighted those with horror comedy sensibilities, and had something important to say about female empowerment. The film might not have cleaned up at the box office in 2009, making only $32 million worldwide from a $16 million budget (as per Box Office Mojo), but it’s transformed into a beloved cult classic that’s remained perfectly watchable to this day. Plus, the role of Jennifer Check still stands as Megan Fox’s greatest performance, though her turn as Alice in S.K. Dale’s Subservience pushes this claim to the limit.

In celebration of a film that made us laugh, cry, and wish we had a Needy Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried) in our own lives, let’s explore the hottest (and most hilarious) quotes from Jennifer’s Body.

“You’re killing people? No, I’m killing boys”

Okay, how can anyone not laugh at this – pardon the pun – killer line written by Diablo Cody? It’s funny how Jennifer doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her sinister actions in Jennifer’s Body, because boys are subspecies – far from real people – and she lets Needy know it. If someone can’t chuckle at this line, they need to check their pulse because this is an all-timer.

“Hell is a teenage girl”

Needy gets it. She understands the pressures that young teenage girls feel from society and their peers about what’s expected of them. In addition to this, there are contradictions of what they’re supposed to be from all around, while they try to grapple with adolescence and navigate their own paths in life. So, yes. Her statement is entirely correct here, and summarizes how a lot of teenagers feel about those “wonder years.” 

“I mean, she’s actually evil – not high school evil”

Hey, Needy spells out exactly what Jennifer is and she doesn’t sugarcoat the facts about her friend’s behavior here. Quite often, people equate the passive-aggression and ostracization of high school behavior as an awful kind of evil, but surely, murdering people trumps telling someone their sweater is ugly on the evil-o-meter. In this case, Jennifer is more Pazuzu than Regina George.

“It’s true – it’s on the Wikipedia”

Oh, how many times have we heard this in life? Someone reads something online and it must be automatically true – especially if it’s on Wikipedia because that’s the internet’s giant library, right? Well, friends, Wikipedia is open for people to edit and manipulate freely, hence how troublemakers and jokesters are capable of posting fake information for a good ol’ laugh. It’s about time that someone tells Chastity (Valerie Tian) about the Machievellian tendencies of the online community.

“I think it’s important to reach out to our fans in the s***y areas, too”

Ever seen the comments section of a band’s post on Facebook? More often than not, it’s a whole bunch of people saying something like: “Please come to [insert random town] on your next tour! We love you here!” It’s always fascinating to ponder what musicians think when they receive comments such as these. Adam Brody’s Nikolai Wolf is probably telling the truth in Jennifer’s Body. His band Low Shoulder love their fans because they give them money, but they aren’t too excited about heading out to one-horse towns for shows.

“I am a god. Okay”

After Jennifer turns into a succubus, there’s no doubt she’s experiencing a plethora of sensations throughout her body. New powers, new outlook, new hungers – the works. Speaking to Needy on the phone, she tells her friend all about it, proclaiming herself a god. For Needy, though, this doesn’t appear to be too out of character for Jennifer, who was always a little vain, so seeing herself as a god is par for the course here.

“You’re such a player-hater”

Jennifer is blessed with incredible abilities, but she doesn’t possess a stacked arsenal of insults. Instead, her go-to with Needy remains: “You’re such a player-hater.” Funny enough, Jennifer appears to have been onto something back then in 2009, since the “player-hater” comment seems incredibly popular to use in 2024. Who would have seen her as such a visionary?!

“Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot?”

In Jennifer’s Body, the friendship between Needy and Jennifer hits a stumbling block after Needy’s boyfriend, Chip Dove (Johnny Simmons), dies. After that it’s showtime, as Needy decides to take down Jennifer, stabbing her with a knife. Jennifer appears almost insulted that Needy couldn’t find a proper weapon rather than using something from Home Depot. Even though their friendship is obviously over, it’s hilarious to hear Jennifer get one more stab – the verbal kind – here.

Love Jennifer’s Body? Check out our sister site, Creepy Catalog, for this great article: Here’s Why ‘Jennifer’s Body’ Is The Best Horror Movie Most People Haven’t Seen.