The Scream film series positions itself as the ultimate love letter to the horror movie genre. Unabashedly, it borrows the tropes and uses the narrative “rules” to both pay tribute and poke fun at the overall silliness levels of these slasher films. For fans, there’s never a dull moment, as everyone tries to uncover who did it this time around and how they’re connected to the past movies.

That said, there are a number of unrealistic aspects of Scream. Now, now… Settle down before hurling the “it’s just a movie, bro” and “Ghostface should do you next” insults. Come to terms with the facts and understand that this isn’t a criticism of the series; instead, it’s doing to the movies what they do to the horror genre. How about that, huh.

Ghostface needs a new means of communication

Remember how Ghostface dialed the digits and everyone picked up so that the killer(s) could terrorize them? Show us one person who answers a phone call from a stranger nowadays. Phones ring and ring, because everyone fears it’s a telemarketer on the other end, refusing to be suckered into a conversation about buying more insurance or inadvertently signing up for an unwanted subscription service. Well, Ghostface could text then. Sure, but what about those people who leave others blue ticked for weeks on end before replying? In this more connected world, it’s getting tougher and tougher to reach people, because phones suck. Maybe Ghostface could try Slack or assign a task on Trello.

Ghostface masks continue to be manufactured

Okay, the Stab film series is a thing in the Scream Universe, and the masks fall smack-bang in the in-demand merch category. So, yeah, money talks – we get it. At some point, though, a senator or politician must campaign for them to be banned or for people to be fined if they wear them out in public, right? It’s wild to consider how a real-life Ghostface killer (or two, or three) will be running around and murdering people, while nothing is done about the high school and college kids dressing up as the character and sauntering down the streets in full view of everyone. In the real world, if a cop suspects someone looks at them funny, trouble follows. In Scream, however, it’s a constant game of peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek with the authorities.

People make new friends way too easily in the Scream film series

Spare a thought for Sidney Prescott as well as Tara and Sam Carpenter. They have been duped by “friends” more than enough times, as the people in their friendship circles end up betraying them in the worst possible ways. Every film reveals that a person close to them has developed murderous tendencies and they are the targets. Now, that’s on their friends – not them. However, the question must be asked: Why in the hell are they letting new people into their friendship circle every movie? Yes, humans are social creatures and the strength of communities, yada yada… But if a couple of your pals tried to murder you before, maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to accept real-life friend requests and invite those people into your home, where they could take a look around and see the best points of entry and exit…

People aren’t investing in genealogy research

Some sociable folks might not like the last point. After all, how can someone go through life without making new friends or meeting people? Fair enough. In the eventuality that someone new does come into their lives, why aren’t the people from Scream checking out the family trees and conducting thorough genealogy research? Every movie has taught us that the killers are all related in some way or have a link; however, the characters trust others at face value and do not explore any possible threads. Instead, everyone waits around until the villainous monologue in the final act to find out the connection.

Those doors and windows don’t just lock themselves

Look, times change and are different from yesteryear where people left doors and windows wide open, never fearing a neighbor would walk in – unless it was to bring over a warm apple pie. Nowadays, if a door or window is open and somebody spots an unattended MacBook on a countertop, kiss that Apple goodbye. It’s even worse in the Scream Universe where there’s a murderer born every minute. It begs the question: Why do the people of Woodsboro, which is basically notorious for the Ghostface murders, still leave their doors and windows unlocked? Any person who lives in that town should have security cameras, electric beams, and six-foot-high walls by now.

They still party

“Oh no, Jane. Did you see there’s been another Ghostface murder in town?”

“That’s terrible, Mike. It’s like the fourth one this week.”

“Yeah, it’s so awful. So, anyway, are you going to Brad’s party tonight?”

This happens all the time in Scream. There will be serial killers on the loose and instead of following curfews or avoiding large gatherings where the murderers could hide in plain sight, these numbskulls will throw an open-to-all party. Or even a costume party where everyone can come as Ghostface, because LOL. No brain, no pain, right?

They still don’t understand Ghostface is a group

The biggest twist in the Scream films centers around how there’s always more than one person involved. Except for Scream 3, of course, where Roman Bridger is revealed as the sole person behind the mask here; however, it can be argued that he influenced the events of prior films, so he never acted alone. Yet, in every movie, the characters search for “the killer” – never quite grasping the fact that there are a number of people they need to keep an eye on. Like a Scooby-Doo villain, there can be multiple people beneath the getup, so that possibility should never be taken off the table. Do they ever understand that they’re dealing with the Legion of Doom and not just Lex Luthor? How many movies do they need before they fully grasp this concept? Sigh.