No Matter What You Do, Don’t Call The Number On The Wall Of The Bar Bathroom

I laughed. “Well, this round is on me because I’m such a dumbass but I think I should be heading home.”

Jenny laughed. “What? You’re not even going to try?”

I shook my head. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re all really hot, but I know I have about as much chance as bedding any one of you as I do finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground. You seem fun and all, but I doubt you wanna spend the night sitting with a jerk like me.”

Dani turned to Candice. “I dunno. I like this one. We should bring him with us to the next bar.”

Jenny turned to Dani. “You sure? We got three more stops tonight and I’m certain that the guy waiting for us at The Alley Cat is the preacher again. He’s always buying drinks.”

Candice looked me dead in the eye and said, “I dunno girls. Maybe we should just take this one home.”

Dani motioned for the waitress and handed her a couple of bills before saying, “Bring us some shots.”

I spent the next hour or so getting free drinks and listening to the girls gossip about random guys they had bumped into playing their drinking game before Jenny pulled out her phone and said, “Alright girls, let’s get out of here.”

They were about five paces from the table when Jenny looked back  at me. “You coming Blake?”

Before I could answer Dani interrupted saying, “Not yet he isn’t.”

The next few hours were a blur. I honestly don’t remember drinking that much, but I must have been blackout drunk because I remember waking up naked with dried wax on my chest and Dani pulling her dress back on before fading out again. When I finally woke to the point to be cognizant of my surroundings, I realized I was in a large cage in what I could only assume was their basement. I shook the door of the large dog kennel as hard as I could before realizing how sturdy it was and that there was a padlock on the outside.

Seamus Coffey is a construction worker and author.

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