No Matter What You Do, Don’t Call The Number On The Wall Of The Bar Bathroom

Two equally attractive women came over to our table. One sat next to Jenny and the other slid in next to me. I stared across the table and said, “Circle K.” The girl sitting next to me slammed a five dollar bill down on the table and shouted, “Dammit Jenny, I owe you five bucks.”

The girl sitting across from her said, “It’s never Tim Horton’s Dani.”

Jenny turned to the girl next to her. “Candice, you know good and well that preacher called from Tim Hortons.”

She turned back to me. “I’ll be honest Blake, you aren’t what we were expecting.”

Dani slid her hand onto my thigh. “Yeah, it’s been a long time since we had a cute one.”

Candice shot Dani a look. “Not so fast slut, we don’t know this guy yet. He could be a serial killer or something.”

Jenny looked over at me and said, “Well Blake, are you a serial killer?” I shook my head and felt a tingling at my temples that told me the beer was already giving me a buzz.

I poured myself another beer. “So what you put your number up in bathrooms and see who’s gonna call.”

Dani laughed. “Yeah, basically. We made a drinking game out of it.”

I shot her a look. “And how does that game work?”

Candice topped off her glass and said, “Mind getting another pitcher?” I motioned for the waitress and a few moments later a fresh pitcher was delivered.

Jenny poured herself a fresh beer. “That’s how the drinking game works. Pretty much any guy desperate enough to call a number on a wall is going to be the kind of guy that tries to liquor us up in hopes of taking one of us home. We drink free and he goes home alone. It’s kinda fun actually?”

Seamus Coffey is a construction worker and author.

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