Love is Blind, season six, has aired eleven episodes so far on Netflix, and one of the most provocative and controversial couples we’ve seen is the tumultuous relationship of Chelsea and Jimmy. Across social media, intense scrutiny has been placed on Chelsea’s behavior and barely any attention has been given to Jimmy’s problematic behavior or red flags. Given that this is a highly edited show, we don’t know the extent of what actually happens behind cameras, so Chelsea’s reactions to Jimmy seem particularly dramatized when they are not placed into a larger context. What audiences of Love is Blind fail to recognize is that within a very short period, Jimmy has managed to poke persistently at Chelsea’s insecurities from the very beginning (e.g. failing to compliment Chelsea beyond her teeth upon first meeting her, mentioning to Chelsea that the other woman he did not choose, Jessica, was said to look like a Kardashian). He has blatantly flirted with yet another woman on the show, AD, and called her “stacked,” objectifying her in front of Chelsea. Then, he went out of his way to introduce Chelsea to a female best friend he has reportedly slept with in the past, failing to disclose this to her before he arranged this convenient meeting, and also placing his friend’s privacy at risk knowing very well their history together might come up. These types of manipulative behaviors are bizarre to witness and do need to be discussed. Jimmy also only shared this important piece of information with Chelsea off-camera and promised her to secrecy after the meeting – knowing very well that Chelsea is someone who is naturally anxious, and has experienced traumas of relationship partners cheating with their female best friends that she expressed to Jimmy. Chelsea cried as she told Jimmy she wanted reassurance from him and felt hurt by his comments toward AD, and he simply stood there in silence, offering little to no reassurance. Given that Jimmy was very aware of her fears, it boggles the mind he wouldn’t think that introducing her to a friend he slept with wouldn’t be an issue.

“Audiences of Love is Blind have a destructive pattern of constantly nitpicking and hypercriticizing female contestants on the show while minimizing or outright dismissing outrageous behavior from their male counterparts.”

Consider that Jimmy could have simply told Chelsea before they met with his “friends” to assess if she’d be comfortable with this past history at all – yet instead, he did not, choosing to escalate the situation and place his female best friend on camera knowing this risk. In one of the latest episodes, Chelsea called this behavior out, and he told her he could take a step back from his shady friendship if she asked him to – only to immediately retract the offer when she said she does want this and say, “I am not taking a step back,” taking quite the disorienting approach to her concerns.  If Chelsea wasn’t anxious before, she certainly got her insecurities poked at mercilessly by Jimmy, and I suspect his reassurance is mostly for the camera.  This culmination of shady behavior goes unnoticed by audiences, however, who are too hyperfixated on Chelsea’s reactions to Jimmy to take her seriously. Yet her reactions deserve a closer look in the larger context of the show.

“Listening to the commentary on Jimmy and Chelsea from Love is Blind, I can see why you all get played in relationships,” says Cecilia Regina in a viral TikTok as the new episodes aired. And indeed, she is right. Even Jessica, the woman Jimmy did not choose as his fiancé and who famously told Jimmy he was going to need his EpiPen when he realized what he missed out on, confirmed on the Nick Viall podcast that there was a lot going on behind the cameras regarding Jimmy that audiences never saw and false promises made to both of them she knew he would not carry out. If there’s one thing you can count on when it comes to the reality television show Love is Blind, it is that any woman who dares to express even an ounce of emotion to outrageous behavior will be labeled as “insecure and clingy.” Each year, the show has a new scapegoat – usually a woman – and with the exception of Season Four where there were actually a few unempathic and sadistic women on the show who treated other women terribly, most of the time, the witch hunt is unwarranted when we look at the actual facts. Perhaps we need to put down our pitchforks and actually see what’s happening right in front of us (and all that’s probably happening behind the camera).

Initially, audiences have had a very strong reaction to Chelsea due to her claim that people tell her she looks like Megan Fox (something she explicitly said she does not agree with), and this reaction continued to strengthen as she began reacting to Jimmy’s behavior in a way people deemed “too much.” Now, the internet is aflame with memes overexaggerating Chelsea’s perceived flaws while paying no mind to Jimmy’s harmful behavior. Perhaps it’s true that Chelsea is reactive – but given Jimmy’s concerning pattern of behavior, perhaps she’s just more expressive and anxious – yet certainly not wrong when it comes to certain scenarios Jimmy has manufactured. It’s likely that Jimmy is not pulling these stunts to be “honest” – he has actually been quite dishonest with her. Yet the internalized misogyny from pick-me women who insist Jimmy is the perfect man and so patient as well as men who recognize their own behavior in Jimmy and are defensive of him has obscured the audience’s ability to discern or admit to Jimmy’s problematic behavior throughout the show. When it comes to shows like Love is Blind, take hypercriticism of the women with a grain of salt: unless it pertains to Season 4, it’s often poisoned with misogyny.