Relationships

Why ‘Almost Relationships’ Are Destroying People More Than Actual Breakups

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Let’s talk about almost relationships.

The ones with no label, no closure, no clear beginning or end. But somehow… they still wreck you.

People will say, “But it wasn’t even a real relationship.” And technically, maybe that’s true.

But you invested: real time, real hope, real emotion. You got attached.

That makes it real, at least for you.

Sabrina Alexis Bendory is the author of the book DETACHED.

Unrequited love is a specific kind of heartbreak.

You’re not just grieving someone who’s gone… You’re grieving something that never really existed in the first place. A future you thought was possible. A version of them you believed in.

Almost relationships are confusing because there was just enough to keep you hooked. Enough connection. Enough chemistry. But not enough effort. Not enough consistency. And definitely not enough clarity.

You probably gave way more than you got. More attention. More time. More forgiveness. And deep down, you hoped that if you gave enough, they’d finally show up the way you needed.

But that’s not how this works.

If you’re the only one showing up, the only one worrying about where it’s going, the only one feeling anxious or unsure… then you’re doing all the emotional labor. And that’s exhausting.

You deserve mutual effort. Mutual clarity. Mutual respect.

For more writing like this, check out books by Sabrina Bendory.

Love shouldn’t feel like a project you have to manage or control.

You don’t need to prove your worth to someone who isn’t choosing you back.

It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to miss them — or at least the idea of them. But try not to romanticize what wasn’t real.

You weren’t too much. You were just with someone who couldn’t meet you where you were.

This article was written by Thought Catalog Books author Sabrina Alexis Bendory. She is the author of two books You’re Overthinking It and Detached.