Stage 3: You Change Your Mind, Again
The next week he suggests shopping for new furniture, his treat. You don’t want to live with him, but helping him shop could be fun. So you go with him. He splurges on a gorgeous wood cabinet. It’s your first big purchase together, he says. You both will keep this no matter where you move in the future, together. You cry. You’re so happy. You’re starting a life together. This is wonderful. Why would you ever second-guess anything? He says he doesn’t want the apartment to look like a bachelor pad anymore. He’ll even get rid of the cardboard moving boxes he still hangs his clothes in because he thought cardboard was a “cool” closet. Jesus, he is serious about this, you think. He wants to paint the apartment for you. He says he’ll buy you a big closet, a dishwasher and get TiVo like you had at your old place. He wants to make his place our place. He’s not territorial! He’s so flexible, so giving, so wonderful. He really does love me, you say! You start to make big plans. You’ll redecorate the apartment. You can’t wait to look for more furniture. You start mapping out the rooms and where things will go. You’ll get a maid. You want it all done before you move in. Oh, and you want a puppy.
