I was watching a scene from the movie Closer where a couple, Alice and Dan, were talking, and then Dan was telling Alice “I love you.” Alice replied “Where? Show me! Where is this love? I can’t see it. I can’t touch it. I can’t feel it.”
This scene hit me hard. It made me think of all the relationships in my life where somebody told me that they loved me, yet I never felt that love, even though I was assured that they had it for me. But the thing is, love isn’t just a feeling — that’s not enough. It’s a constant practice.
It’s not enough to just feel it towards me. It needs to be shown in acts, words, gestures, tight hugs, tones of voice, support, the way you look at me, the way you care about me, and how you deal with me. It’s about you telling me how you see me and all the things you find lovable and beautiful about me and not just keep them to yourself. That’s what love is about, because it’s not just a feeling—it’s much more.
Do you know how many relationships fall apart because people can’t seem to practice their love for one another? Do you know how many friendships don’t continue because they can’t express it to each other? Do you know how many people in this world have grown up feeling unloved by their parents and siblings even if they did love them because they’ve failed to show it to them?
Love is not just a noun; it’s a verb. It’s a choice and an action you decide to take every day towards one another. It’s not in the “goodbye, love you” we say so casually every day that feels too mundane and meaningless. Our expression for how we feel towards each other should be much deeper and louder. There are all kinds of frugality out there, but one of the worst kinds is the one where a person is so frugal with expressing their feelings and emotions to another and making them not feel them.