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This Is How You Learn To Love

Honestly, there’s no manual for love. There’s no specific way to tell someone how to do it. You can’t really search “How to love” on the internet, and you can’t read books that will tell you how to do it, either. But there’s something that you can always do—you can let life itself teach you how to do it.

You can let life teach you what it means to love. You can let it teach you how to go with the flow and how to let yourself do what you feel towards the other person without the interruptions of all the relationship bullshit that we keep on hearing every day, which is basically telling you to do a lot of things opposite to what you feel or to just keep on restraining your feelings. You might wonder what’s complicated or not doable about this, but you’d be astonished by how most of us don’t know how to love yet. Because to love means to let ourselves be raw and to let our loved ones be completely themselves.

It means that you don’t try to change them in any way and instead just accept them with all their flaws — just the way they are. It means to show it to them constantly, because they deserve this. To love them means to say it to them loud and clear. It means to always try to understand them and to be there for them when they need you the most and to always be their safe haven. It means to quit the silly games of playing hard to get and to stop all the mind games that people advise many of us to do while they are in a relationship.

To love means to be selfless. It means to always try to accept them with all their changes and shifts. It means to always try to understand them no matter what and to actually listen to them. It means to let your feelings be sincere and raw. It means to constantly remind them that even though they can do this alone, they don’t have to. And to remind them regularly about how much they mean to you.

Love is about letting your feelings be without trying to manipulate the other person or overthink or overcomplicate things. It means to give your loved ones their space when they need it and always trying to see the good in them. It means being that person that they know they can tell any secret to safely without any kind of judgement. It’s about giving without expecting anything in return.

It’s about listening to the other person’s reasons and justifications before jumping to conclusions and sending them right away to guillotine. It’s about digging deep within you to find the kind of forgiveness that you thought you never had in you before.

To love means to let our loved ones just be completely and utterly themselves. It’s about letting your feelings take the lead and just letting yourself be open with your feelings towards your loved ones. These all seem like such simple things, yet we just keep on fighting them when they’re life’s way of letting us love and teaching us how to do so. So, let it be. Accept life’s way of teaching you to love and don’t fight back and do what you actually feel like doing, not what you think you ”should” do.

About the author
I want to write about you, me, and all of us. Follow Rowan on Instagram or read more articles from Rowan on Thought Catalog.

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