I will be the first to admit that some of the most minute, insignificant things can drive me up the wall. During a time of year where everyone is constantly talking about all the small things they’re grateful for, I thought I would balance out the equation a bit and give you 40 petty things that I absolutely hate.
1. Websites that ask me if I want to download their mobile app as soon as I click on a link. No I don’t.
2. When you’re telling someone a story and they keep interrupting you to try and guess what you’re going to say next.
3. Sending a text to someone and seeing the message turn green instead of blue.
4. The stupid horn that goes off at least 3 times during most hip hop songs.
5. Being forced to close my eyes before opening a gift.
6. The opening credits of Homeland.
7. Any television show where I have to “just make it through the first two seasons” before it gets good.
8. When you’re hanging out with a new group of people and someone says, “You look just like my friend _______. Doesn’t he? He looks just like him!” but you have no idea who their friend is so you just have to fake a smile and nod awkwardly.
9. Truck commercials that assume I know what the word “torque” means.
10. Every reality show contestant that declares, “I’m not here to make friends.”
11. Things that require a battery size that isn’t AA.
12. When someone knocks on a bathroom stall door. If it’s locked, just move on pal.
13. Vanilla ice cream (Get a job, vanilla ice cream).
14. The fact that you have to be some sort of wizard to put the string back into a hoodie once it comes out.
15. Group text messages (I will throw my phone).
16. Group Facebook messages (I will throw your phone).
17. Names that are spelled with a complete disregard of phonics (Looking at you, Maykynsi).
18. The creative team that comes up with commercials for Kay Jewelers.
19. Vine videos, all of them.
20. Tattoos that require more than 8 words to explain.
21. Restaurants that don’t title their restrooms Ladies and Gentlemen, but instead use some sort of ambiguous, clever name that takes you way too long to figure out which one is for you.
22. Clicking on a 20 second video, but having to watch a 45 second commercial first.
23. Online dating profiles informing us that they like to have fun, as opposed to those who hate fun and prefer misery.
24. Any movie trailer that plays that “How You Like Me Now” song.
25. When a character in a movie or television show works a low income job and yet they own a home, constantly travel, spend large amounts of money, and live a lifestyle way above their pay level.
26. The episodes of Saved by the Bell with Tori on them instead of Kelly and Jessie.
28. People who point out tiny errors or mistakes that make no real difference whatsoever.
29. My phone autocorrecting haga into gaga instead of haha.
30. Looking at pictures I’m not in.
31. Looking at pictures I’m in.
32. That feeling of anxiety when you show someone a photo on your phone and they start scrolling through your photos without asking.
33. Socks that are just a little too big so they keep rolling under your heel.
34. Chain restaurants that ask if you’ve ever been there before, like they’re some sort of rare experience and not just another peddler of chicken tenders and dry house salads.
35. The banter and ridiculous laughter on every radio morning show.
36. Putting a coat on over a long sleeve shirt and having the shirt’s sleeve roll up to your elbow.
37. Facebook’s friend suggestion that contains one of your ex’s new significant other.
39. Baby clothes that feature animals doing every day human tasks in a casual manner.
40. Any sentence that contains the word “cray.”