A Prayer For When You Keep Self-Sabotaging Good Things In Your Life
I don’t know why I do this. I don’t know why I push away the things I’ve prayed for. I don’t know why I build walls around my heart when I should be letting love in. I don’t know why I overthink, shut down, and ruin the beauty you have so generously placed in front of me before it has even had a chance to grow.
I don’t want to be this way, God. I don’t want to keep making decisions out of fear — fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear that maybe I don’t deserve these blessings after all. I can feel this pattern in me, this need to control, this desire to protect myself, this tendency to run before I can be abandoned, to destroy before I can be disappointed. And God, I am tired of fighting against myself. I am tired of running.
I’m asking for your help, God. Help me to recognize when I’m standing in my own way. Help me to pause before I self-destruct, to breathe before I react, to trust before I assume the worst. Heal the parts of me that are scared of happiness — the parts that resist peace, the parts that expect every good thing to come with a catch. Teach me that I am not defined by my past, or by my mistakes, or by the times I have let anxiety lead me. Show me that I am worthy of love, show me that I am worthy of joy — not because I’ve earned it, but because you are good, and you give good things.
God, if there are deeper wounds causing this — old rejections, past betrayals, lies I’ve believed about myself, please bring them to the surface so they can heal. I don’t want to keep living in cycles of doubt and self-sabotage. I want to receive what you have for me with open palms, not shaking fists. I want to believe that I don’t have to ruin what is good just because I’m afraid it won’t last.
Help me to trust, even when trust feels risky, God. Help me to embrace joy, even when it feels unfamiliar. Help me to move forward, even when the voice in my head tells me to retreat. And when I fall back into old habits, remind me that change is still possible, and that I don’t have to get everything right to be loved.
Thank you, God. Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for the good things you have given — even the blessings I’ve mishandled or taken for granted. Thank you for not letting me ruin what you have planned for me. I choose to believe that my future is not destined to be a mirror of my past. With you, I can be different. With you, I can break free.
Keep working on me, God. I’m ready to embrace what you’ve written for me. I’m ready to step into your light, and to believe that I am worthy of being there.
Amen.
Rebecca Simon is an author of inspirational poems and feel-good essays. Her first book Let Go, Trust God: Become Who You Were Meant To Be is out now.
