Like I’ve said many times before, relationships are something you choose to be in, not something you do for entertainment, to pass the time, or to look cool. Yes, they are fun, but the commitment level that’s required will either make or break you as a couple.

Being compatible with your significant other isn’t something you can force, though. People talk about “the spark” or “the click”, and while sometimes, this can just be a fantasy wish, most of the time, it’s 100% true. It’s either there or it’s not. You two are either going to work out or not. There’s only so much distance you can cover before “choosing” to continue dating someone may just not be the healthiest decision for you.

So how do you know if you’re compatible or not? What will it take to make this work? How can this be a good match even if your zodiac compatibility summary is below 50%? How do you know if you’re forcing this relationship to happen or not?

1. You don’t try to change each other.

You don’t start dating someone because you like a, b, and c about them, but plan on changing d, e, and f later on down the road. You aren’t dating them to change them. You’re dating them because you love who they already are and who they will ever be. This doesn’t mean that some things won’t eventually change or need to change, but both of your mentalities should never be “How can I make this person better fit for me?”, rather -“How can I better myself for this person?”

2. You’re able to reach compromises together and look out for each other’s best interest.

Regardless of how frustrating a situation may be, your love for one another should always be at the core of how you want something to be resolved. Your goal is to see your partner win – at their job, at their dreams, at life itself. Whether that means you giving up a habit, or making a conscious effort to say/do something, or coming to a fair agreement regarding a situation – you will do just that. You will do whatever it takes. At all times. And know your significant other thinks the same.

3. You both know how to fight.

Arguments are inevitable. Two people won’t always agree. Two spirits won’t always have harmony. Two humans won’t always be selfless. But when these issues arise, how do you handle it as a couple? Is there name-calling? Are sarcastic comments dropped often? Do you tear each other down? Is it you against your partner? Or you both against the problem? Are you a team or both flying solo, hoping the other will reach your level at some point?

4. You ask, study and know each other’s insecurities; and work to overcome them.

Insecurities can seem silly when you’re the one dealing with them, but having a boyfriend/girlfriend who wants to know them regardless of how foolish they may be to you is a healthy sign that they care and want to crush your fears. Even a strong relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s the weaknesses that are brought to life that can be worked through and conquered to continue building a solid foundation for the future. And you should feel secure enough in your relationship to be able to tell your partner of any chipping in your armor.

5. You feel safe with them.

I’m not just referring to physical safety, but emotional and mental safety as well. You trust them, you know they are and always will be honest with you, you don’t question their love, or doubt their level of commitment to the relationship, you can be at your most vulnerable and exposed moment and know, without a doubt, that they won’t leave, that they’ll stay even when things get ugly and rough, that they’ll fight for not only you but you both as a couple, and that they’ll be there to help you pick up any broken pieces when it’s been a tough day.

6. You bring balance to each other’s lives.

Whether you knew you needed that balance or not, having them in your lives have made you realize what a blessing they are and how stabilizing their presence is. This can be in anything from personality differences, weaknesses and strengths, how they teach you things you never knew, the way they communicate, etc. It’s as complex and as simple as that.

Compatibility isn’t about having a picture-perfect romance and relationship. Nothing is perfect in this world. But two imperfect people can make a very perfect right. And when not only the compatibility but the desire and effort to work through things as a couple is there, I can guarantee you this:

You two have a shot.