When It’s Real, You Won’t Feel Anxious About It

When you’re with the right person, you won’t feel the need to change who you are or pretend to be someone else to get their attention. They won’t care if you’re too loud or too quiet. They won’t care if you’re a CEO or a freelancer or unemployed. They won’t care if your waist is too big or too small. They won’t care about your style or the color of your hair. They will embrace who you are with all your quirks and imperfections. We’ve been taught that we have to become who we think our partners want us to be, but the truth is these relationships don’t normally work out because they weren’t based on honesty to begin with. They only worked because one person changed to mold into the other person’s life.

Too many times we’ve had to wear masks and alter the way we speak, the way we think, the way we express ourselves because we want to be perceived in a certain way, but I have learned that the best kind of love is the one where you don’t have to change who you are or think twice before you speak or act. I have learned that the best kind of love is the kind of love that feels effortless. The one that feels like home. You’re not too concerned about what you’re saying and how you’re acting, you’re not afraid that you might say something that would throw them off and you’re not afraid that they’re going to leave you and find someone else.

When you’ve been with a lot of wrong people, they always made you feel like they’re ready to drop you at the first exit because they have plenty of options lined up for them or they’re not too focused on you, and it sometimes made you feel like no matter what you do, you will never be good enough. That’s why when it’s real, you won’t be anxious about it and you won’t be afraid. They won’t make you feel like you have to constantly be on your best behavior, looking flawless and playing every game in the book to capture their heart. With the right person, you will forget all about these games and tricks because they will always find ways to reassure you and you will be too busy enjoying your time with them to think about anything else.

When you feel anxious about someone, you function from a state of lack and anxiety and you will never open up to someone who you don’t fully trust, but when someone loves you for who you are without any conditions, they make you function from a state of fulfillment. You’re calm and you’re not worried about whether or not they will disappoint you or hurt you because they give you a new kind of satisfaction that you never felt before, and that’s when it clicks that all this time you were never really yourself and that’s why you never truly felt seen, heard or loved. When it’s real, you won’t feel anxious about it and it will somehow keep erasing all the doubts you had about yourself and about love.

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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