I know that it hurts at first, it cuts deep into your childhood wounds and all the times you felt you weren’t good enough. It takes you back to all the times you weren’t chosen whether it was your basketball team at school or the first job you ever interviewed for or the first person you ever loved. It reminds you of all those times you felt so replaceable, so rejected and all those times you wanted to be picked but you ended picking yourself up instead.

But here’s what I know for sure, sometimes not being picked for something you wanted is exactly what you need to redirect yourself or your life. It’s exactly what you need to pick another sport, another company, another career and another person. It’s exactly the kind of guidance you pray for and at first it may seem like the answer isn’t in your favor but it ends up being the best decision for you. I once read that sometimes what didn’t work for you actually worked for you!

Sometimes not being picked has nothing to do with you. Maybe you didn’t meet all the qualifications the company was looking for or maybe you were overqualified and they weren’t able to meet all your expectations. Maybe the company didn’t hire you because they knew you would have a voice and ask for a lot of changes they were not ready for. Maybe the person you wanted didn’t choose you because you were so sure of what you wanted and they were lost. Maybe you’re not the kind of person that’s going to reward inconsistent behavior or lies or disrespect and they don’t want to deal with any of it because they’re not looking for anything serious.

Sometimes people replace you because they didn’t get the chance to know who you really are and what you can offer and that’s not your fault that they couldn’t see that because the moment you feel replaced is the moment you remove yourself from that situation or that person. It’s the moment you stop trying. It’s that moment you can’t erase because for a second, you feel like everything you did wasn’t enough but just like anything in life, there’s always the other side.

There comes a moment after when you walk into an interview and you feel like you’re being appreciated and treated with the respect you deserve. The company is willing to do whatever it takes to get you onboard and you didn’t have to chase after all the managers for a follow-up. There comes a moment when you meet someone and they don’t hesitate for a second to show you how much you mean to them and how lucky they feel to be in your life. You’re not guessing where you stand with them or if they like you enough or if they care as much you do. There comes a moment when someone makes you feel irreplaceable and you will recognize it in an instant because now you know the difference and now you can see the signs.

Because I think the law of life goes something like this; those who made you feel replaceable are easy to replace but those who make you feel irreplaceable are the only ones worth holding on to.