It’s time to stop judging women who don’t want to have kids. It’s time to stop making them feel guilty because they’re choosing not to reproduce. It’s time to stop assuming that it’s a problem they need to solve because like anything in life, it’s a choice. Unless a woman can’t have children, wanting to bring children into this world should remain her choice and she has every right not to.
Some women don’t want kids because they know they can’t handle that kind of commitment for the rest of their lives. Some are too focused on their careers and they know that they won’t be able to dedicate their full time and attention to their kids. Some just don’t want to for financial reasons. The bottom line is, they have a valid reason for this decision and it’s time to praise them for their self-awareness and honesty instead of judging them. I have more respect for women who decide not to have kids instead of having them anyway and falling short of their responsibilities or neglecting them because they’re too focused on all the other aspects of their lives.
Because being a mother is a full-time job and if you’re not ready for it, you’re going to live your whole life with the consequences. I have seen so many kids suffer from the lack of attention and love they need from their mothers because they’re either too busy or too wrapped up in their own problems. When someone else’s life depends on you, you don’t take this decision lightly.
It’s time to stop making women feel incomplete just because they don’t have kids because a woman can always complete herself; with her work, with her hobbies, with her friends, with her passion and all the ways she gives back. She doesn’t have to nurture a child to feel complete. Of course, it’s a wonderful blessing to be a mother and raise a child but it’s not all she was born to do, it’s not the only thing that can set her apart.
When Oprah was asked why she doesn’t have kids, she said “I realized, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is,’” she says. “I don’t have the ability to compartmentalize the way I see other women do. It is why, throughout my years, I have had the highest regard for women who choose to be at home [with] their kids, because I don’t know how you do that all day long. Nobody gives women the credit they deserve.” Source: Oprahdaily And this is why I have so much respect for Oprah. She knows how serious of a commitment it is and even with all her success and financial freedom, she still knew she couldn’t do it.
Being a mother has nothing to do with being an amazing girlfriend or wife or CEO. It has everything to do with knowing that you are capable of continuously sacrificing everything to be next to your children providing them with everything they need. It’s being brave enough to hold yourself accountable for who they turn out to be and the kind of life they choose to live. It’s being strong enough to give your children your undivided love and attention even if you’re struggling with it yourself.
I honestly can’t do it and I’m not ashamed of saying that out loud because I’d rather admit that I’m not up for that job than take it and mess up not only me but everyone involved. It’s time to start giving these women more respect for being honest about where they are in life and understanding their own limitations instead of pressuring them to have kids and then call them unfit mothers. Just like having kids is a commendable choice, not having them should be too.
