I’m Slowly Learning How To Be Unavailable

I’m Slowly Learning How To Be Unavailable

I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable, but not the kind of unavailable we read about; playing games, playing hard to get, ignoring people on purpose, acting super busy when I’m not. I outgrew that kind of pretentious unavailability. It’s now coming from a more enlightened place. It’s now a way to protect my soul, energy, and heart from all those who are trying to pollute it.

I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to the people who drain me. People who suck the life and the good energy out of me. People who come into my life just to make it harder and then leave. I’m slowly learning how to invest my time in people who raise my vibrations. I’m slowly learning that choosing the energy you want to be around and the people who truly make you happy is not rude or selfish; it’s necessary.

I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to those who don’t value me. I’ve learned recently that love without appreciation and respect means nothing. That if those who claim to love you are not there for you when you need them, if they don’t stand up for you when you’re helpless, if they don’t show up for you during difficult times or the times when you need them to take a firm stand, then they don’t appreciate you. They like you but they’re also not afraid of losing you. They’re not afraid of disappointing you over and over again.

I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to dead, vicious cycles; to people who don’t change no matter how many times you forgive them or welcome them back into your life. To those who expect you to understand and carry their baggage with them no matter how heavy it is but can’t handle yours if it’s too heavy. I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to anything that doesn’t make me feel alive.

I’m slowly learning that to protect yourself, you have to choose your environment wisely and if that means being unavailable to certain people, certain energies and certain circumstances, then so be it because I’m slowly learning that my life will never change if I don’t change who I surround myself with and my repeated patterns will never bring different results. I’m slowly learning that being unavailable sometimes brings you closer to what’s meant for you because you’re slowly cleansing and releasing everything that’s not.

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

Keep up with Rania on Instagram