Thought Catalog

I’m Finally Starting To Understand What My Loneliness Was Trying To Teach Me

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Unsplash / Joshua Rawson Harris

I’m finally beginning to understand what those lonely years were trying to teach me. I’m finally starting to see the hidden blessings in loneliness because if we truly take the time to learn how to be alone and not fear loneliness or despise it, life starts making more sense.

Loneliness teaches you how to search for everything within you. How to dig through all the dirt and the past and learn how to heal yourself or fix what was once broken. It teaches you how to become your own person away from the noise of others. It teaches you how to find your own voice and if you’re brave enough to follow that voice, you can turn your life around.

Loneliness teaches you that if you can learn how to love and work on yourself, you can protect yourself from making bad decisions just because you’re lonely. You don’t fear being alone anymore. You become a lot more confident knowing that you can live without anyone’s validation and you can survive the worst days of your life without telling a soul. It teaches you how to become a skilled warrior when it comes to fighting life’s toughest battles.

Loneliness teaches you that sometimes being alone is better than being around the wrong people or people who stop you from being yourself. It teaches you that if you have the courage to walk away from people you thought you’d never live without, you’d understand that sometimes we cause our own pain when we hold on to people who are toxic for us. When we stay with people who do not help us grow. When we start seeing ourselves through the eyes of those who do not value us.

Loneliness teaches you that it’s not so bad after all. It’s not an enemy. It’s a friend that has your back when everyone else walks out. It’s a friend that gives you all the time in the world to reflect on your choices and decide who you want to be. It’s a friend that saves you from the wrong crowd, the wrong path and the wrong relationships.

For the longest time, I didn’t understand loneliness, I started hating it for no good reason but now, as I start seeing how it shaped me and the person it made me, I’m starting to appreciate it. I’m starting to understand that loneliness won’t go away before it teaches you what you need to learn. I’m starting to understand that loneliness is God’s way of talking to you. It’s his way of sending you his messages. It’s his way of telling you that sometimes he’s going to be all you’ve got and that should be more than enough. 

Loneliness teaches you that if you can make it through the lonely nights with the same hope and love you had before it crept up on you, you’ll be that much grateful for life and what it has to offer. You’ll be more cognizant of the blessings in your life and the lessons God’s trying to teach you. You’ll be so much stronger when you know that you may want certain people in life but you don’t need anyone because you have yourself and you’re finally in love with every part of it. TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing. Living. Loving. Dreaming. Healing. Evolving.

This Book Will Help You Let Go

“They think you’re mine and I’m yours. They think there’s a love story going on behind closed doors. They think it’s only a matter of time before someone tells them the truth they’ve been waiting to hear.

We roll our eyes when they joke about us being an item; we laugh at how ridiculous they’re being. But deep inside, I’m crying. I’m crying because what you’re taking as a joke is what I wish could be real.”


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Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

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