When They Tell You That Closure Is Overrated

Daniel Apodaca

I agree. It is overrated. But it’s a lesson we all need to learn.

Closure doesn’t change the outcome of the situation. It only confirms what you probably already knew. It only makes things easier because you heard with your own ears the ugly truth you’ve been trying to evade. You can’t feed yourself sweet lies anymore.

Closure doesn’t magically change someone’s feelings no matter how much you try to convince them that they’re wrong or force them to see things from your perspective. If anything, it just shows you how many excuses someone can make to walk away from you. It just shows you how people can make things harder when they don’t want to try.

But even though closure is overrated, sometimes it’s exactly what you need to realize that you don’t need to seek closure from anyone anymore. It’s exactly what you need to learn that it doesn’t really matter. And it’s exactly what you need to remember that you might never get closure from people who meant the world to you and you’re going to have to find a way to live with it.

The world can be unkind like that. You’ll say goodbye without really saying it. People will confuse you. They will suddenly disappear from your life. They will act like strangers. They will change overnight and if you keep holding on to every closure you didn’t get and trying to find an answer to every question you have, you’ll never be happy. You’ll never find the time to focus on yourself. You’ll never find the strength to not allow other people’s actions to define you. You’ll never know your own worth if you keep investing so much energy into the ones who think you’re unworthy.

So maybe it is overrated but the lessons from it are not. The way it teaches you to let go of people who never came back and never told you what you needed to hear. The way it shows you who respects you enough to have a mature conversation with you and who is too self-absorbed to even consider your feelings. The way it reminds you that people who want to stay will always find reasons and people who want to leave will always find excuses.

But more importantly, it teaches you that you really don’t need closure. Trust me when I say you can move on without it. You can live without it. You can heal your heart without it. You can love again without it.

Your heart has an extraordinary ability to move on and forget those who hurt it when you give it permission to. Your heart doesn’t need a few words or a few apologies to fall in love again. Your heart knows that closure is just your way of holding on to people you’re not ready to forget or your way of forgiving people because you’re hoping for a second chance but you don’t need closure. You don’t need anyone who couldn’t love you. You don’t need anyone telling you what you deserve. You deserve the best. You deserve the world and you deserve to know that with or without closure. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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