We make love a lot harder than it has to be when we analyze what could happen and think of hypothetical scenarios instead of looking at what we have now, what we see, the actions of that person that tell us whether or not they care, whether or not they are trying to be in our lives and whether or not they truly want us or they’re just wasting our time.
We make love a lot harder than it has to be when we don’t believe what they tell us. When we try to change ‘I’m not ready’ into ‘I’ll be the one to change their heart.’ When we don’t believe them when they tell us they’re focusing on themselves or on their work and we try to burst their bubble until it blows up in our faces. We don’t want to see them for who they are now because we’re so focused on who they could be or who we could turn them into if we love them or if we try harder to be the exception to the rule.
We make love a lot harder than it has to be when we spend most of our time asking questions instead of getting answers. When we spend more time waiting for a text back or a date or thinking of ways we can get them to ask us out or hang out with us. When we spend most of our time wondering if this is all in our heads or if it’s real. When we spend our time thinking about whether or not they’re thinking about us instead of actually being around them, getting to know them and spending more time with them.
We make love a lot harder than it has to be when we try to make something out of nothing. When we try to make reasonable excuses for why someone is not investing in us. When we wait around for people to be ready in hopes they’d pick us. When we play games and stay stuck in the friend zone hoping they’d change their minds about us when the pressure of a relationship is off. When we just pray for this person to feel the same way instead of looking at the reality of the situation and moving on.
Because the truth is love shouldn’t be that complicated to understand, it shouldn’t be a riddle you’re trying to solve, it shouldn’t be a secret you’re trying to unravel.
In the grand scheme of things, love is simple. The person who wants to talk to you will find a way to talk to you. The person who wants to see you, will not decline your invitations. The person who wants to know more about you will keep asking you questions and try to be in your life. The person who wants you in their life will always include you in things that are important to them.
It’s really simple when you think about it, the more you have to guess, the more you have to try hard for someone’s attention, the more you spend time trying to ‘figure it out,’ the more you realize that you’re complicating things for yourself because you don’t want to believe that once again you chose someone who’s wrong for you or someone who doesn’t want you as much as you want them.
Because love is only hard when it’s not mutual, other than that, it’s simple. It takes work but even that work becomes a pleasure when you’re both working on your relationship because you both truly want to stay in each other’s lives. No one is trying to run away. No one is trying to date other people. No one is looking for an exit. Both of you are looking for a home in each other.