I’m Slowly Learning To Choose Self-Love Over Self-Pity

Vanessa Serpas

I’m slowly learning to look at my past with pride instead of shame. I choose to look at the battles I’ve fought and feel good about myself instead of feeling sorry for myself. I choose to be proud of what I’ve been through instead of trying to paint the picture perfect.

I’m slowly learning that it’s okay to color outside the lines. It’s okay that the picture you’re drawing doesn’t exactly mirror the picture you had in mind. It’s okay to change your art as you grow.

I’m slowly learning to fall in love with my journey the way I fell in love for the first time. Love it will my heart. Love it when it’s being difficult and stubborn. Accept it when it’s not doing things my way. Forgive it when it’s driving me crazy. Love it like it’s the only journey I’ve seen. Love it even though other journeys look easier and more lucrative. Love it because it’s mine. Choose it because it’s where I belong. Fight for it when it’s easier to give up and walk away. I’m slowly learning that my journey is never going to be easy but it’s mine and I can’t give it away to anyone else.

I’m slowly learning to stop comparing my life to others and put all my faith in God instead. Maybe my timing was off. Maybe I was trying to look for happiness in all the wrong places. I’m slowly learning that I still don’t know what’s best for me and maybe I never will but I’m okay with learning for now. I’m okay with trying and failing and starting over. Maybe life is not supposed to make sense at all but that won’t stop me from living it. I’m slowly learning that there’s nothing to compare because everyone is different, everyone has a different path and what’s meant for me will eventually find me. Everything is already written.

I’m slowly learning that the best revenge is self-love. It’s the only shield you really need to protect yourself from others and the world. It’s the one thing you have to feed so you don’t starve.

It’s the lesson every heartbreak was trying to teach you. It’s the one thing that makes the difference between someone who falls down and someone who rises above. It’s the one thing that will protect you from anxiety, depression, fear and loss.

I’m slowly learning that if you keep choosing self-love when it’s easier to choose self-pity, you win. And you start making changes instead of excuses. And you begin to understand that the most important commitment you’ll ever make is to yourself. TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing. Living. Loving. Dreaming. Healing. Evolving.

This Book Will Help You Let Go

“They think you’re mine and I’m yours. They think there’s a love story going on behind closed doors. They think it’s only a matter of time before someone tells them the truth they’ve been waiting to hear.

We roll our eyes when they joke about us being an item; we laugh at how ridiculous they’re being. But deep inside, I’m crying. I’m crying because what you’re taking as a joke is what I wish could be real.”


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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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